Terminator Ain't No Hollaback Girl!

Hello gentle readers, today I want to talk about something that really gets my goat.  A topic that really grinds my gears.  An issue that violently slaps my nuts (like that's a bad thing...).  The idea that all units should be able to eliminate terminators with ease.  For those uninitiated few reading this post who have no idea what a 'terminator' is and are wondering why their google search for Gwen Stefani's iconic Holler Back Girl sent them here, let me take a moment to explain.

 A terminator is a 7 foot tall human turned biological weapon called a Space Marine in an incredibly ancient suit of neigh impenetrable armor.  These warriors are the finest members of an already elite chapter of 1000 warriors.  They carry devastating weapons that are used to fully eradicate whatever is unfortunate enough to be in front of them.  In the actual game of 40k they come in at a hefty 40-45 points and you are required to take a unit of 5 (usually).  These 5, with a decent weapon load-out will most likely cost you between 225-260 points.  Not an insignificant allocation of points.  In short, they came to chew bubble gum and kick ass.  Just your luck, they're out of bubble gum.

Unfortunately, for some time now any discussion regarding the merits of a unit will inevitably cause someone to compare said unit with terminators.  Usually, it will go something like this,

Newb: Hey guys, what do you think about (x)??
Dork: They're ok, but they can't kill terminators.

WHAT.  Of course they can't kill terminators.  Do you know why? BECAUSE THEY'RE FLIPPING TERMINATORS, CUNT!  BITCH!  They cost 40 points per model.  Oh, I'm sorry you feel your 15 point model sucks because it cant easily eliminate my terminator models.  I just don't get why people feel that they're unit of (x) should for some reason cost half the points of other models and be able to go toe to toe with them.  When a Banshee costs 40 points (or more with weapons) give me a call.

I would like to go further and claim that terminators are now TOO easy to kill.  Yes, they have a 2+ save, but at toughness 4 they are fairly easy to wound and with the prevalence of plasma weaponry (another article) their 5+ invulnerable save will get you dead more than 50% of the time.  At toughness 4, you are taking a lot of armor saves.  How many 1's will you roll on 10 dice?  2 most likely (or 5 in my case).  Even the ubiquitous storm shield/thunder hammer terminators are toughness 4.  In order to have them survive past the 3rd turn you are forced to take them in large numbers, which will eat up your points right quick.  I would propose making terminators HARDER to kill.  Fuck, at 40 points, they better be!  How about toughness 5? Why are they the same toughness as marines in regular power armor?  Maybe making them come with 2 wounds standard?  Lower point cost?  I would like to see them move to a 2+/5+ Feel no Pain that can be taken no matter what type of weapon causes the wound.  Something.  ANYTHING that will make them better reflect the fluff that is written about them. Also, why is Dante not eternal warrior and why is he initiative 7 but the FAQ gave him a power axe? Why women be shopping! TELL ME ASSHOLES!  Ok, I'm sweating now.

Next up!  Kublacon 1500 point tournament with Azrael and Friends!

A turd by any other name....

....... is my Grey Knight's list that I took to a local 1750 point tournament this past weekend.  I don't want to go through the entire list again, and one needs to look no further than my last post (over a week ago) to see the list in detail.  Let's just say that with only 17 models in the entire list (not counting the Bastion) I did manage to go 2-1, though lady luck has more to do with that than any discernible skill on my part.

I had a whole plan for this post, but seeing as how I attribute most of the positives from the list to luck I'm just going to go over some of the pros and cons of the list that I think might interest people.

 *I'm not taking the time to go over my list again. Please go back and read the last post to get the details...Don't be an asshole...*

PROS

• Low model count.  This made taking the time to set up properly not so much of a hassle.  A lot of games are lost due to poor deployment, and having a large army can lead to this at times.  If you only have a few units, they more than likely each have a specific job and you can spend a good amount of time making sure they are set up to do their job properly.
• Powerful units. Lord Kaldor 'd'Brikashaw Ferguson' Draigo and Paladin friends make for an intimidating unit, and there wasn't much on the table that could handle them.  I believe in my last game against Necrons, d'Brikashaw aka Draigo took every wound from two Annihilation Barges....TWICE.  Yes, friends, placement is everything.  
• Coteaz is the Grey Knight tax, and putting him in the unit of Paladins/Draigo is just mean.  I've Been Expecting You with two Psycannons and strength 5 Storm Bolters will make most players rage quit 100% of the time.  PRO TIP: Don't tell your opponent about I've Been Expecting You. 
• A Vindicare in a Bastion firing from fire points can make sure your opponent is going to have a bad day.  In the same game that Draigo was taking wounds from Annihilation Barges, the Vindicare exploded both of the same Barges.  Now, to be honest, he did make about 400 4+ Invulnerable saves and about 10 6+ Feel No Pain saves from being glanced by 60 rapid firing Warriors....
• A Dreadnight with a heavy incinerator deep striking will ruin a LOT of people's days.  Especially Necrons.
• A Storm Raven's mindstrike missles make Paladins die (and shit their pants).

CONS

• Low model count.  With two troop choices and the majority of book missions being objective based, you are going to have a really steep hill to climb.  Throw in the fact that we use the BAO (Bay Area Open) format in most west coast tournaments now, which mix in objectives in EACH mission, and 17 models starts looking REALLY unattractive.
• No real anti-horde.  I was fortunate to not have faced any horde armies or else I would have been in big trouble.  Yes, I had a Storm Raven, but it was kitted out to take out enemy fliers.
• Draigo AKA d'Brikashaw Ferguson ain't what he used to be.  Yes, he can still destroy most enemies, but with his sword now being AP3 and unless he is fighting a demon or psycher, he has a hard time taking out anyone with a decent armor/invulnerable save.  I actually forgot his sword was AP3 and challenged Belial in my first game.  I almost lost Draigo to that pigeon toed fucker (He was making his 2 ups and I was failing my 3 ups...).
• A Vindicare assassin might look cool, but he dies to mass bolter fire just the same.  With just a 4+ invulnerable save, and even with a 3+ cover save most of the time, he only has two wounds and you are GOING to roll 2 twos when rolling for 12-15 saves.
• Low model count.  I'm going to say this again.  With that low model count, when you lose a unit it REALLY HURTS.  

So with that said, here is how I would improve the list.

• Drop the Bastion and Vindicare and take two Psyflemen Dreadnoughts.  I know this has become cliche, but it's for a good reason.  They tear shit up and do it on the cheap.  Vindicare's are cool, and If I went up to 1850 I would most likely drop a Paladin and take him.  They can be made scoring with Draigo.
• Drop the lascannon on the Storm Raven and bring the assault cannon and find points for the hurricane bolters.  With Psybolt ammo it's just too good and I still think Storm Ravens are where it'st at (it's no Vendetta).

So that't it.  I hope you found this remotely useful.  Next blog post will be about Terminators and why you're an asshole for thinking every army should have a cheap counter for them.

Whither a Grey Knight? FUCK YEAH

This weekend a local FLGS, Game Kastle, is hosting a 1750 point tournament.  Seeing as how I am currently working on no less than 4 armies, choosing an army to build was unsurprisingly difficult.  At the 11^th hour I decided on Grey Knights because hey, why not?  I’m a list builder, as in I spend my free time watching television with numerous codices surrounding me furiously writing and re-writing lists.  One list that I created recently was a pure Grey Knight codex that I believe has the tools to take on the gamut of powerful builds that I am likely to see at a tournament.  It has all of the qualities I look for when writing a list, and much like my sex life, is hard hitting and in your face! *(Don’t tell that one to my girlfriend)*

Before going into detail, THE LIST

Lord Kaldor Draigo –Duke of Cheese, King of Pain

Lord Draigo do what he do.  Makes the Paladins troop choices, overall bad-ass, you know the drill.  I like to use the Grand Strategy making d3 units Scouts, moving him and the Paladins closer as well as the Dreadknight.

Inquisitor Coteaz – ‘Re-Roll that, Please’

Everyone's favorite auto-include.  Give you Divination spells and a fun I've Been Expecting You attack.  Also, his Psyber-Eagle rocks way too much ass.  He also basically guarantees you wont get seized on which makes deployment a lot less stressful.

Paladin Squad (6) 2x Psycannon, Apothecary, Brobanner, Psybolt Ammo – Draigo’s Extra Wound Squad

2 wound terminators with Feel No Pain, 3 Base Attacks (Bro Banner), Psychic Bad ASSES. 8 twin linked strength 7 rending shots (that should be re-rolled with Coteaz' Prescience. These guys go to 11 with Draigo and Coteaz. 

Paladin Squad (1) Incinerator/Twin Linked – ‘Did I just deep strike onto your table quarter? LOL’

Late game grabber of objectives that's also the bane of hiding troop squads on said objectives.

Strike Squad (5) 3x Halberd, Psycannon, Psybolt Ammo – Warp Quakers

I like these little squads.  They can hold their own if drawn into combat (6 Init 6 power weapons attacks on the charge) but really shouldn't be getting into combat.  Decent shooting when sitting still (8 Strength 5 AP 5 shots and 4 Rending Strength 7 AP 4 shots).  When I go to 1850 these guys go to 10.

Storm Raven with Multi-Melta and Twin-Linked Lascannons, Extra Armor – Boom goes to Croissant

I have the model, 'nuff said.  One of the best fliers in the game, if on the expensive side.  The twin linked Lascannon and Multi-Melta will make short work of enemy fliers and enemy armor.

Dread Knight with Heavy Incinerator, Great Sword – DIE GARGOYLES, DIIEEEE

If I had the points I would give this guy the personal teleporter, but with Draigo's Grand Strategy handing out Scout and the threat range of the Heavy Incinerator, I can live without it.  2+ armor save with a toughness of 6 makes the dude hard to take down.  I like the Great Sword, with the ability to re-roll hits and wounds.

Vindicare Assassin – *Head Shot*

A guy that can literally take down anything, and with the recent FAQs making his shots un-look out bro-able, the Vindicare assassin is looking really good.  I plan on putting him on the quad gun, which will benefit from his precision shot.  If he intercepts with the quad gun, he can shoot his rifle during his turn.

Bastion with Quad Gun

Armor 14 is nothing to sneeze at and makes for a terrific firing platform for the Vindicare Assassin.  Some people say the Bastion cannot be target by the enemy, as it is unoccupied so is not an enemy unit.  I would subscribe to this newsletter, but cooler heads say that it CAN be targeted.  I'm sure there will be arguments for and against at some point.

So there it is.  The Vindicare sits on top of the bastion manning the quad gun.  If he uses the quad gun to intercept, he shoots his rifle from his VERY generous vantage point from the top of the bastion, which BTW, cannot be targeted by enemy attack as it is technically unoccupied.  Draigo and Coteaz do what they do, Storm Raven poop on you, and Dread Knight (hopefully with Scout from Draigo) gets me first blood.  Lone Paladin hopefully drops in late game and flames someone for the lols.  Big Paladin Squad rolls with Draigo/Coteaz and Strike Squad sits on an objective and unleashes warp quake.  Small and fierce, just like your mom likes it. 

Let me know what you think.  I’ll post Saturday night or Sunday morning with the results.

Poor Black Templar Terminator.....

I really should have worked harder on my terminator costume..- Black Templar Guy

Caption Contest!  GO

The IP Hammer of Righteousness

            Unless you've been hiding in a cave with your fingers up your ass you've most likely heard about the temporary closing of several GW fan-sites, most notably Bell of Lost Souls and Faeit 212 blog.  The conspiracy theorists are out in force, and the leading explanation at the time is that Games Workshop sent copyright infringement allegations to Google, which runs the Blogger site, as a reaction to Faeit’s posting of White Dwarf page images.  Google, not wanting to be sued by Games Workshop, temporarily shut down these sites until the offending content is removed.  At this time Larry Vela from BOLS is stating that it has not received any such warning from Games Workshop or Blogger and they are having technical difficulties not related to the other blogger sites being down.  I personally think that BOLS was temporarily blocked while they delete anything Faeit 212 ever posted on their site and Larry is trying to save face, but that is neither here nor there.  The fan base has reacted in their normal way i.e. gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair, etc. 

            Basically there are two sides arguing at the moment regarding Games Workshop’s handling of copyright infringement.  On one hand you have the people saying that GW has FINALLY crossed the line and that they will never, EVER, buy another GW model to support such a fascist company.  This is an argument that happens about twice a week and gets more groans and eye rolls than the recent remake of Red Dawn.  These people just cannot, CANNOT, believe that a company would try and protect copyrighted material.  Why would Games Workshop want to make money on the products they produce?  What a bunch of conformists!

            On the other hand, you have the people stating that Games Workshop is right for aggressively protecting their products, which include their intellectual property (i.e. the artwork of their games).  I would fall roughly into this category.  I cannot believe that there are people that complain when this happens.  While I am a huge proponent and avid reader of the Faeit 212 blog, they crossed the line when they posted ANY image from an upcoming White Dwarf.  Games Workshop owns the images to that magazine.  If ONE person saw the pages posted and decided to forgo buying the magazine then that is considered a breach of copyright law.  Faeit essentially caused GW to lose revenue.  People are arguing that the posting of pictures from copyrighted White Dwarf is somehow ok since they don’t like the content of the magazine.  Is that how it works?!  If that is the case why not make everything free?  I think movie studios should spend a hundred million dollars to create a movie and then show it audiences for free.  Why would they want to make any money for that?  While we are at it, I think George RR Martin should spend a couple of years writing his next Game of Thrones book and then hand it out from the back of a truck.  He doesn't need to be paid for that!  HBO should spend months of time and hundreds of thousands of dollars turning that book into a TV show and then convince Comcast to give their network out for free.

The fuck you say, bitch?

  Grow up.  Like it or not, Games Workshop has every right to protect their copyrighted material.  If you feel the need to purchase a magazine, scan it, and then distribute the material through your website, you deserve to have that website shut down.  If you are a site like BOLS and host guests that link to these sites, you deserve to be shut down as well.  So, long-winded as it is, there is my argument in defense of Games Workshop.  Something you will RARELY see.  Word to your mother.

Why BOLS sucks more than your mom (A Rant in A Minor)

Not able to leave a critical comment on BOLS? It’s more likely than you may think.  Would you like to know more?

I think most people who have the faculty of both their eyes and half of their brain know that the infamous war gaming blog Bell of Lost Souls has become synonymous with poor writing and non-existent editing.  Every other post is now either a loosely veiled advertisement (Man Boy Genius) or one of four writers reviewing the same blog at the same time.  I honestly think that the only reason I still visit the site is to get my blood pressure up in order to concern my doctor.  I’ll give a few more dollars to Larry Vela in order to get ideas for my own blog, and hey, he needs to feed his family, too.  Above all of the advertisements and incoherent, borderline unintelligibly written articles there is one contributor who fully and completely activates my nerd rage.  He goes by the name of Mercer.  I think my biggest complaint about Mercer is that his articles always feel like they were written 5 minutes before the deadline.  I can image him waking up hung-over, a slight stubble growing across his neck.  He scratches his belly and looks around at the devastation he caused in his studio apartment.  He slowly becomes aware that it is Tuesday, and his article for BOLS is due in 5 minutes.  He walks to the computer on his milk carton desk and quickly posts a picture of a yellow rhino and a blue rhino.  He then writes a line of text under the pictures that reads ‘so what do you like better, yellow or blue?’  He submits his article and gets 10,000 views. 

While the above story is entirely fictional, and perhaps a bit harsh (I’m sure Mercer is a nice guy in real life) the article he posted is basically an article he posted on BOLS a couple months ago verbatim.  It’s this type of lazy bullshit that gets me so irritated with Larry Vela.  He makes a great deal of money on his website, and with the amount of people that regularly read the website (myself included) you would think he gives more of a shit in regards to what is posted on his website.  You have four authors writing the same review for the Deamon codex!  Larry, I’m going to give you a quick editing trick and I won’t charge you a cent for it.  PLAN YOUR CONTENT EVERY MONTH!  Don’t just pick people you like to write articles and then give them a hard deadline.  You have a responsibility to give a fuck.  People give you money by visiting your site.  Maybe, for once, pretend you care about them and stop posting bullshit advertisements for Man Boy Genius and half assed reviews that read like a high school freshman’s first review of Moby Dick.

It also appears that BOLS now moderates comments that might be critical of their writers.  This morning during my morning cup of coffee, I read Mercer’s article Flesh Hounds vs. Seekers.  Here is an example of the fine writing I’ve come to expect,

“Ok I lie about the Seekers, I do not think they are that interesting. I think they are ok so don't get me wrong, just I see the internet saying how awesome they are and not a lot of people seem to give the Flesh Hounds a second thought.”

If anyone can break this down into English, please do so for me.  After leaving a comment to the effect that they should edit their posts, I was notified the comment was awaiting approval.  This is the first time this has happened to me, so  I looked at every other comment in the article.  Not one negative comment!  That’s very impressive; I cannot image not ONE person leaving a comment regarding the horrendous grammar and spelling mistakes, or at the very least commenting on the weak review of the models themselves.  The only explanation is that not one comment that was critical of Mercer was allowed to be posted.  Bravo, Mr. Vela.  If you can’t find competent writers or editors you might as well artificially make them appear to be competent by not allowing legitimate criticisms to be voiced.

How rage quitting made me a better player. And so can you!

This is the game that will define your life.  You've spent hours writing and re-writing the perfect list.  You've covered every possible angle and have an answer to any conceivable enemy combination.  You’re tired because you spent most of the previous night and much of the early morning putting the finishing touches on your beautifully painted army.  Everything seems to be going so well, you've won all of your games in the first day of a tournament and you’re two games away from bringing home the trophy.  Your cat will be so proud of you!  That will teach her who the boss is.  Then it happens.  Your opponent lines up against you with a formation you've never seen before.  They then proceed to blast every model you own off the table by turn two.  Your girlfriend looks on with pity.  You RAGE QUIT. 

For those of you not aware of the term rage quit, it refers to the act of losing your temper and either quitting a game before its conclusion or vowing to never play the game system again.  This can be due to rolling 7 dice and rolling 5 ones (this HAS happened to me) to completely kill your entire Terminator Squad or in protest of some imaginable sleight against your person by the game company themselves.

I not only witnessed this first hand at my recent foray to the Broadside Bash, but was an active member of the rage quit club myself.  That’s right; your old pal Raw Dogger is guilty of taking my righteous indignation and going home (literally).  I justified the early withdrawal from the tournament by saying that I wanted to get an early start on my drive back North, and after my loss (to my good friend, Steve, aka Stave Stiff) there would be no way for me to win the tournament.  While this may have been true, the truth in the matter is that I quit.  I RAGE quit.   I was so thoroughly defeated by turn 3, by an army I couldn’t believe had so much fire power, that I angrily made the decision to leave the tournament and possibly give my game 5 opponent no one to play against.  I was so upset that my brilliantly planned army list could be so embarrassingly trounced I selfishly cost some poor player the opportunity to get one final game in.  No matter how much I justified leaving the tournament early or how many sympathetic nods I received from fellow tournament players, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was no better than the man with the cane that quit day 1 after learning that Forgeworld was being allowed into the Bash.  That’s right, poor old Raw Dogger is just as bad as the dimwit long haired man who spent all of the money to travel to and participate in the Broadside Bash, only to quit after getting blasted in the face turn one and rage quit.  We are equal partners in embarrassment.

There is one silver lining to this sad tale of woe.  Getting pummeled and rage quitting has made me want to be a better player.  I don’t WANT to be that guy that is getting written about on some assholes blog.  I don’t WANT to be that guy that ruins someone’s tournament by not letting them get their full games in.  The games that they paid good money for so they could get some quality games in.  I want to make better lists so this doesn't happen again.  I want to be PREPARED for the list that blew me off the table.  Let my embarrassing tale be a lesson to all of you.  When you rage quit, you are raging against yourself.  You are raging against yourself because you were unprepared for the match.  The games company does not have some secret agenda that is screwing you over personally.  Your cat might, but certainly no one else.  Take your ass whipping as a lesson to be a better player.  Your opponent will respect you more, your girlfriend will have more sex with you, and your boss will give you a raise.  Well, at least one of those things will happen and if you are reading this blog it most likely will not be the sex.

So have you ever rage quit or have had someone rage quit on you?  Is it ever ok?

A Gentleman's Case Against Forgeworld (kind of)

A couple of weeks ago I packed up the car and headed south to San Diego to take part in the annual 40k tournament, the Broadside Bash.  An RTT that focuses not only on competition but appearance and sportsmanship as well, the Bash lived up to its reputation as a premier west coast event that I’ll be sure to make the trip down for next year. First, a couple notes about the Broadside Bash.  It is 2000 point tournament (no double force organization) with 40k approved Forgeworld units allowed.  Appearance and sportsmanship points are a large factor in the tournament, but having a fully painted army is not required to win.  Composition scores might have played a part in the overall score, but from what I could see most lists were extremely powerful and fluff bunny lists were few and far between.  Despite my excitement in traveling to San Diego to take part in the tournament, there were a couple of factors that I was concerned about. The first was the point level of the tournament. In my opinion, 2000 points in too high in a competitive environment. It gives too much power to certain armies who have a greater abundance of powerful units to choose from.  It also takes a lot of the challenge of list building out of the equation, since with 2000 points you are able to take just about everything you want (and a bag of chips).  The second concern I had was with Forgeworld 40k approved units being allowed.  

I normally do not have a problem with 40k approved Forgeworld models being allowed in tournaments, and I think my main concern was the point level of the tournament. 2000 points gives players a LOT to work with when deciding to take high point cost units.  It is no surprise that certain 40k approved Forgeworld units are more powerful than others, and it certainly shouldn't be a surprise that some of the most powerful are available to an army that certainly doesn't need any additional help in the current edition.  I am speaking, of course, of the Imperial Guard. With the amount of cheap, effective firepower the Imperial Guard have at their disposal I am left to wonder at the necessity of allowing them to take cheap anti-aircraft weapon platforms and flying murder vultures that disintegrate your horde of infantry with contemptuous ease.  I understand that Hell Turkeys are a broken unit, I really do.  I am just as frustrated with their 360 degree marine melting death as the next guy.  Throw in the ridiculous looking model as well as the laughable premise and you have a unit that is just asking for a nut punch.   

Yes, it is dumb when someone brings 3 Hell Turkeys or 9 Necron flyers in a list but allowing Forgeworld units into the competitive environment in order to counter the cheesy flyer lists has given birth to newer, cheesier Forgeworld 40k approved armies.  It’s like the Simpson episode where Bart finds the exotic lizards that eat all of the pigeons and breed uncontrollably, so the town plans on bringing in snakes to eat all of the lizards.  When the snakes get out of control they plan on bringing in Gorillas to eat the snakes, which will then die when winter comes around.  While playing against 3 Hell Turkeys or 9 Necron flyers is annoying, so is playing against someone with 2 Mortis Contemptor Dreadnoughts, 6 Sabre Platforms, 7 Missile Batteries, and a Vulture (this, by the way, is the list that wiped me off the table in game 4).  Is it fun to play against someone who takes multiple toughness 7, 2 wound platforms that are surrounded by guardsmen (who count as toughness 7 for some reason) behind Aegis Defense Platforms?  No, it’s not.  Who is more of the asshole, the guy who brought 3 Hell Turkeys or the guy who brought 9 Sabre Platforms?  They both are, in my book.  

An opponent at the Bash made the comment that Forgeworld brings 40k into the realm of Magic the card game, in that the people with the most money have the advantage of purchasing expensive units that have the ability to dominate the battlefield in ways that mundane units cannot.  It is not surprising, therefore, that an army comprising of majority Forgeworld models won the tournament handily.  Does this mean we should not allow 40k approved Forgeworld units into games of competitive 40k?  I don’t think so, at least not at lower point level tournaments.  I do, however, feel strongly that they should not be allowed at tournaments over 1750 points.  What about cheesy flyer lists that adhere to legal GW codices?  Should we not allow spamming of these units in tournament play?  Again, I would have to say no.  With the Dark Angels codex having Flakk Missiles and the new Tau Codex having several brutal anti-air units and upgrades, it appears that GW got the message about the overpowered nature of flyers and are giving new armies the ability to take them down using codex units.

 Ultimately, I believe the problems of Forgeworld approved and spammy flyer lists can both by solved by adhering to a 1500 point limit at all major tournaments.  At 1500 points, you must be much more conservative with your points and spending too many in any one force org slot will result in an imbalance that will lead to a lot of losses.  I also believe that there should be a limit to the amount of Forgeworld that should be allowed at tournaments.  One unit per army should be more than enough to fill any gaps in the GW codex.   I know this is a hot button issue at the moment, with angry people on both sides of the argument gnashing their teeth and yelling at their cats.  This article is not meant to cause anymore division on the subject but to evoke thoughtful dialogue that can hopefully bring some consensus to the community.  So tell me, what do you think?  Are Forgeworld models still filling a necessary gap or are we now allowing power gamers with deep pockets new ways of blowing their opponents of the table, like so many leaves?

It’s the End of GW as We Know it (and I Feel Fine)

Let’s face it.  If you are reading this article you are somehow, someway invested in the table top war gaming hobby.  I would also feel confident betting the vast majority of the people reading this article play table top war games developed and manufactured by the lumbering gaming behemoth Games Workshop.  I myself have been playing Warhammer 40k, and to a lesser extent, Warhammer Fantasy, since around 1997.  Describing to non-players the first time I was introduced to the (then) amazing White Dwarf Magazine on a Boy Scout camping trip at the age of 13 is a lesson in futility.  My years of lining up little green army men against each other and playing out mighty battles on my bedroom floor had kindled my love of wargaming long before finding the magazine, but for the first time I saw a way to interact with others and I fell in love with a hobby that I didn’t even know existed.  Fast forward 16 years, several editions, and an ungodly amount of disposable income later, I find myself just  as much in love and enamored with the Warhammer games and universe as I was when I was 13 years old.  So why do I secretly hope Games Workshop goes out of business?

I’m going to be honest here.  I love Games Workshop.  I love buying all of the new models and playing with them in tournaments, however,  I also want them to fail utterly and miserably.  I would like nothing more than to see them go out of business.  I want Jervis Johnson to lose his house.  I want Matt Ward to pawn his sweet black leather vests.  I want Bugman’s Bar to burn to the fucking ground!  That might be a little harsh, but hey, I’m being honest.  I know that I am not alone in feeling this way.  There is not a day that goes by that I don’t read online blogs and see comments along the same lines (ok, maybe not so harsh).  Go ahead, try it.  Next time Bell of Lost Souls of Frontline Gaming runs an article describing a price increase or an expose regarding the closing of a GW store or some such thing, the doom and gloomers come out of the woodwork.  You will find comments such as “I’m going to laugh when GW goes to out of business” or “They’re finally going to go under since they don’t realize they have competition”, and so on and so forth.   I smile inwardly when I read these comments.  I think to myself, “that will show them”, though what THAT is I have no idea.  So why do we do this?  Why do we secretly want the company that develops and produces the games we love to play to go out of business?

The best analogy that I can think of to explain my bizarre behavior is the ‘smugness factor’.   Think about it.  This can be the neighbor that always has the newest car or gadget, the sports team that wins every national tournament, or the sibling that garners the most attention and adulation from your parents.  You like them on a certain level; your neighbor is nice enough and he even invites you over to his weekly BBQ (where he shows off his new TV or game system).  The sports team plays well, and the quarterback is so handsome (I’m talking about The Patriots).  Your brother is your blood relative, so he can’t be all bad?  The fact is, when your neighbor’s house gets egged or the Patriots lose in the playoffs, you smile a little.  When your brother calls you at 3am to bail him out of jail, you’re thinking ‘JACKPOT’!  You want to see these smug bastards taken down a peg. 

This is what GW has done to its customers.  Year after year of unexplainable price changes due to the fact that they KNOW people will keep paying to play the hobby they love.  Not releasing models that are IN THE CODEX, then taking companies to court that had the audacity to manufacture said items because they saw the demand.  Matt Ward’s vest!  The list goes on and on and whole articles have been written on the topic.    The fact of the matter is that we, as a gaming community, have done this to ourselves.  We SECRETLY dislike games workshop.  We continue to let them run roughshod all over us.  I feel nostalgic for the day that Games Workshop was truly into the hobby aspect of the games.  Remember rough riders?  Remember their partnerships with local game stores that ADVERTISE THEIR GAME SYSTEM FOR FREE?  I do, and I miss those days.  I don’t know how to fix it.  I do know that I will continue to buy and play with their models, grumbling and writing bumbling blog posts.  I’ll be the last one to buy a $125 Land Raider and turn the light off when I leave.