Saturday, March 29, 2014

This Week in 40K - March Week 4

Hey ya’ll! 

Welcome to another Rumor Roundup 40k Week in Review! 

I’m your host for the evening, Rawdogger.  Hold on to your assholes, cuz this week has been 40-kray kray.

Codex: Storm Troopers Militarum Tempestus released. 



Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?  No, it’s a $50 codex with 5 pages of rules (approximate estimation).  Don’t get me wrong, the new Storm Troopers Scions look really great.  So much so, that I will be buying a couple boxes to use as Inquisitional Henchmen.  The fact that you get 5 models for $35 is a pretty sweet deal in Games Workshop land.  They even give you the option of ONE whole special weapon! Does sarcasm work in print?  No?  We’ll fuck you, shit-head! (that wasn't sarcastic). The fact that you can have Commissars leading the Storm Troopers Scions is also pretty fucking radical.  I love me my Commissars and the models have always been some of my favorites in the game.  I think we can all agree that the Tard-Ox vehicle looks stupid.  Right?  Do I really have to go into a tirade about how shitty that thing looks?  Somehow the prime looks even shittier.  The codex is a codex in the sense that the Imperial Knight book is a codex. Codex.  That was the name of Felicia Day’s character on The Guild. God she’s hot. Mmmmmmm. Where was I?  Oh yeah.  So the Militarum Tempestus can be used as a stand alone army or as an ally to (most likely) other Imperial Forces.  I actually think that is pretty cool, but once again GW has gone to far with a good thing and made a $50 monstrosity that could have easily been a thinned down supplemental codex that could retail for $25.  I guaran-fucking-tee that they would still have a monster margin on something like that.  They would most likely sell more, too, as more people would be able to stomach that price point for a hardcover book that details 3 units.  I had more to say on this subject but just thinking of Felicia Day has me all hot and bothered.  I’ll be in my bunk.

40k Alter of War mission compendium released. 



Hey friend, did you happen to collect all the new digital data slates, codices, and supplements?  You didn’t?  Well have I got good news for you!  Games Workshop took all the missions from those digital releases and PRINTED them for your convenience!  Only for the low, low price of $49.95!  Don’t say Games Workshop never did anything nice for you!  WOW!  Man, GW be double dippin an’ shit.  Look, I get that the Carl Tuttles of the world will be more than happy to drive this narrative right through the fucking house.  How about they work on a useable rule-set for competitive 40k instead of repackaging rules for narrative forging missions that no one cares about?  Can a brother get an AMEN??

Tyranid Rising Leviathan Part Trois!




So the third and final installment of the Leviathan Tyranid formations was released this week.  I’ll say one thing about it, Games Workshop must REALLY need to sell Tyranid Warriors.  Who knew that T4 multiwound models was bad thing?  The writers of the codex, apparently.  There are a couple good-ish ones in this last formation installment.  I’m kind of partial to the Subterranean Swarm, but the point cost of the formation is fairly steep.  It's nice to see Games Workshop try to fix the Tyranids after the fact, but it just feels that the formations they're creating are only being made to sell the slow selling models.  NO SHIT.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

This Week in 40k - March Week 3

Oh hai there!  I'm your host, Rawdogger, and this is my 40k Week in Review.

A bit of a quiet week, all snark concerned, but like a fly drawn to cat poop I'm always able to sniff out the fresh squeeze.  As usual, most information un-apologetically stolen from such sites as Faeit212 and BOLS.  No information was found Stelek's blog, if that is still a thing.  On to the news!

Limited Edition Void Shield Generator and Crater Sets Released.   Chinese recasters say ‘that’s a lotta Dim Sum!’  

Cool pic stolen from Warhammer 39,999

If you don’t get that joke in the headline, don’t worry, because neither do I.  Games Workshop released an extremely limited, extremely over costed Void Shield Generator model this past week, which sold out in about 10 minutes.  I’m assuming Carl over at The Independent Characters snagged 10 and probably pre-ordered the digital Void Shield Generator Data Slate.  While there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the hobby community, most fail to see the genius move this was for Games Workshop.  Think about it. The molds for the kits they made were resin, which is considerably cheaper to produce than plastic molds.  Secondly, by making it a limited edition model, they were more than guaranteed to sell out of the run they produced.  Last, the vast majority of those sales were direct to customer which means their margins were significantly higher than if they sold the models through your FLGS (Fat Local Game Store).  They now have a mold of a model that they KNOW will sell.  I think we will be seeing much more of these ‘limited’ releases in order to gauge customer responses from Games Workshop in the future.


Dataslate: Hellbrute released, reminding the 40k community that Hellbrutes aren't very good.



This weekend Games Workshop released it’s latest Chaos Space Marine digital supplement, Dataslate: Hellbrute.   I actually bought this one, and with formation names such as ‘Mayhem Pack’, ‘Helcult’, and ‘Helfist Murderpack’ how could any 12 year old do without 5 of these motherfuckers?  That is the whole point of these formations, isn't it?  To sell more models?  Kudos to Games Workshop for trying to put lipstick on a turd but at the end of the day we are talking about a slow 100-130 point AV 12 walker with 3 hull points.  Bringing more of them isn’t the answer and  no amount of fucking kick ass radical sounding formations will make the 6th edition issues with walkers any better.



So that's it folks.  A new Tyranid Dataslate is being released but hasn't hit yet, so no sarcastic feelings about that.....yet.  I was also able to get a couple of poop jokes in there as well, so that's cool.

Until next week.  Keep watching the skies!

Saturday, March 15, 2014

This Week in 40k - March Week 2

Hey You’ll!  Welcome to another installment of This Week in 40k.  I’m your host Rawdogger, aka Phat J Sleeze, aka Clownbaby ROK, aka fuck internet handles.  It’s been a busy week, and in a way I feel that Games Workshop has really taken it upon themselves to give me A LOT of material to snark upon.  Let’s get started, shall we?

(As usual, most information shamelessly and un-apologetically stolen from various sites, mostly Faeit blog.  Go check it out if you haven’t gotten your daily war gaming masturbation sesh in.  I’m already good.) 

Codex: Weird Looking Miniatures is a go!



This week we saw the leaked images of the upcoming Imperial Guard release, the Astra Militarum and mysterious supplemental codex Militarum Tempestus.  We got a glimpse of not only the stupid looking short bus tracked thing but also got to see some of it’s riders, the new plastic Ogryn.  Some of the worst models ever produced AND a $50 dollar codex?  Sign me up!  Why is Games Workshop changing the fundamental canon of the 40k universe by renaming factions and adding retarded looking models?  FUCK YOU,  that’s why!   GDUB DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YO FAAAACE!


Dataslate for Hellbrutes confirmed.  Next up, Dataslate: Chaos Cultist



I can only hope that Games Workshop takes these micro transactions further.  Just fucking go all out with it already, GW.  Stop this pussy footing around.  Let’s have a $50 Codex, followed by a $20 Dataslate for each unit (digital only, of course) and all of this following the release of the models so we can purchase them before knowing if you actually play tested the rules (you didn't).  Oh yeah, Hellbrutes still suck even if you can take a formation of them.  Games Workshop, bringing you what’s next!


New Games Workshop Web Store to Include Forgeworld.  One click Horus Heresy army?  

FUCK.YES.



I don’t know about you but my life is about to get a lot easier.  Just like any old chap, I would find myself spending hours upon hours of time selecting individual units from the Forgeworld web store in order to fill my shopping cart just to purchase the models needed to create my Horus Heresy army.  If the rumors are true I won’t have to waste my valuable time doing this anymore, as Games Workshop is set to start selling Forgeworld models on their new web store.   We know how they saved countless hours of pointless clicking with their One Click Army Deals (trademarked) and we can fully expect the same with the Forgeworld models.  It’s especially helpful for people who like to masturbate while looking at Forgeworld models.



New Apocalypse Warzone Book Released.  What the hell is Warzone Apocalypse?

Stolen from Fresh Coast Gaming

This week Games Workshop unveiled another series of books for a supplemental offshoot of the game that no one plays.  Seriously, how many of you have gotten all excited to play a 40k Apocalypse game and then 2 hours into the first round of shooting you seriously regretted your life choices.  Sucks to be you if your entire army got D slapped off the board during the first turn and your buddy drove you to the store.  Fuck you Games Workshop.  Instead of having your design team work on a playable Chaos Space Marine Codex we get another set of books that no one wants for a game that no one plays.  Except Carl Tuttle.



Once again, while there was a lot more going on with 40k this week, these are just some of the things that interested me.  Also, in case you didn't notice, there were two masturbation jokes in this weeks article.  

YOU’RE WELCOME.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

This week in 40k - March Week 1

Here is the next installment of This Week in 40k.  As usual, all information shamelessly stolen from other sources, mainly Faeit 212.  Go look at this site, it's pretty.

New Hellbrute kit and Crimson Slaughter codex supplement come out, sales in Helldrakes soar.



So remember that time that Games Workshop created an entire codex supplement to sell one model?  You don’t?  Shut the fuck up, I’m talking!  Next weekend we see the release of the Chaos Space Marine supplemental codex, ‘Crimson Slaughter’.  Despite having a totally badical name it has already been confirmed that the supplement will have around 2 pages of actual rules.  However, I choose to look on the bright side.  Chaos Space Marine players will finally get access to one of the best units in 6th edition, Dreadnoughts!


Size does matter.  Knight and Dreamforge Leviathan size comparisons.

stolen from Pinsofwar

Don’t listen to what your girlfriend says, smaller is not better.  Having seen the size comparison between the Dream Forge Leviathan and the Imperial Knight, I can definitely say that the while the Leviathan is the Jon Hamm of the 40k universe, the Imperial Knight is more of the Reece Robbins.  In all fairness the Leviathan was created to rival the Warhound, but Dreamforge certainly owes Games Workshop a kiss below the belt.

Another one bites the dust!  Memphis Battle Bunker converts to one man store.



Games Workshop continues its march towards the cliff by converting another Battle Bunker into a time tested one man shop.  According the last man standing at GW Mephis, James, this ain’t such a bad thang!  (Via their Facebook page)
Ok folks. I have some news about The World of Battle. Things are changing here at the shop and on March 26th the store is going to make the transition into a one man store. This means that the gaming hall will also be closed off. This is not a bad thing, or the end of the World of Battle. The store will still be here for you to get your favorite Games Workshop miniatures, it will have tables covered with fantastic terrain for you to play on and it will still offer fantastic customer service. Until we make the transition all the events that we have on the schedule will still happen! I know this may be taken as bad news, but it is not! The store is, and will continue to be here, and the same fun, helpful atmosphere will remain! – James

Indeed, James.  Indeed.

Tyranids get new Digital Dataslate.  Tyranid players finally shut the fuck up.



Last week Tyranids got a digital only dataslate that made them better than they were previously.  There, you assholes happy?  I MENTIONED it.


See ya'll next week for another round of things that interested my in 40k!!!11!!