Blood Angels 6th Edition: Brother Corbulo, Super Hunk

Long time no talk, drunken readers!  Apologies but life has once again reared it's ugly head and I've been unable to fit in gaming hobby time as of late.  I wanted to quickly talk about one of my go-to models when putting together a Blood Angel's army in 40k 6th edition, the ultra-hunky Brother Corbulo.

Broken camera? Check.  Backpack in the shop?  Double Check.

Corbulo is is the High Sanguinary Priest of the Blood Angels.  He's basically an Apothecary that gives off a 6" Furious Charge bubble and comes in at the price of a Librarian with a Melta Bomb.  He basically has the stats of a Space Marine with one less Wound and Weapon Skill.  Corbulo also comes with a couple of war gear items and a special rule that rocks a lots of cocks [citation needed].

Heaven's Teeth:  A chainsword that gives Corbulo +1 Strength (5) and has the rending special rule.  Seeing as how he come with 4 attacks base and he is usually hitting on 3's you have the potential to do some damage to high armor foes or medium armored vehicles.

The Red Grail:  As stated above, Corbulo is an Apothecary that grants any unit within 6" of himself Furious Charge and Feel No Pain.  As an added benefit his pimp chalice grants Corbulo a 2+ Feel No Pain.  Awesome pizza sauce.

The Far-Seeing Eye:  Once per game Corbulo can use his super powers to divine the strands of fate.  What the fuck does that mean?  He lets you re-roll one dice per game.  This can be any roll of the dice, including the role to seize the initiative.  This has gotten me out of a jam more times than I care to admit.

So, now that you know about this hunk how the hell do you use him?  I've been having a lot of success plopping him down in a Drop Pod with a unit of Sternguard with combi-plasmas.  He sits in front of the unit and tanks wounds with his 2+ Feel No Pain while the Sternguard do what they do.  Corbulo isn't too bad in combat and gives the unit a 5+ Feel No Pain and Furious Charge bonus, which is great for the Get's Hot nature of combi-plasmas.  Another great way to use him is in a Storm Raven with a unit of Thunder Hammer/Storm Shield Terminators.  They will hit like a ton of bricks and if the 5+ Feel No Pain really helps if the damn funky chicken explodes before they get to their destination.

All-in-all Brother Corbulo really helps the struggling Blood Angels in the 6th edition.  So, what are your coolest moments using the hunky Hercules?

The Rise of Digital Ally Codices and Why They're a Good Thing

OH.MY.GOD. It's a positive topic today.  I've been known to rant and rave about the grave injustice to America that is Games Workshop, but with the unveiling of the upcoming Inquisition digital codex I am starting to see the gold corn in the shit pile that is 6th edition 40k.  I first caught wind about the Inquisition codex through the usual sources, mainly the cool dude over at Faeit 212.  Some of you might remember that at the beginning of 40k 6th edition there were a ton of rumors regarding allies and the limitless opportunities they represented in terms of supplemental codices.  Want to take the Arbites?  Here's a supplement.  Like the Mechanicus?  We have a supplement for that!  Want to take the Inquisition with your Imperial Guard?  HOLY SHIT.  THEY ALREADY DID THAT.  IN THE FUTURE.

An argument can be made that the upcoming Inquisition digital codex is actually the 2nd ally codex to come out, after this month's Adepta Sororitas.  I say this because the reality of the average 40k player to go out and spend several ((several)) hundreds of dollars to build an all metal army is fairly slim.  Most likely the average player will purchase a unit or two for some sweet ass anti-psycher defense and call it a day.  If GW really wanted this to be a full codex release they would have released the models in plastic (with a price increase) and the codex would have been a physical hard cover. I would also like to point out that there is a difference between a codex supplemental and an ally codex.  Where the codex supplemental will expand the stand alone codex, the ally codex will introduce an army that is designed exclusively to ally with a stand alone codex.  That didn't make sense.  I'm tired.

I truly think the rumors of GW getting all of the current codices up to date with the 6th edition and then focusing on supplements is looking more and more accurate.  If GW really wanted to milk this pig for a crap ton of money they would work on releasing a model or two with each supplement. How about new Inquisitor models or vehicle profiles?  If they really take the time to think these ally codices through and actually release a couple models instead of just copy and pasting existing rules/stats these small ally codices could be huge money makers for the company.

The future of the hobby looks bright.  Fuck the doom-and-gloomers that portend the fall of Games Workshop.  

The Road to Adepticon 2014: The Coteaz Conundrum

This year I've made the monumental (financially speaking) decision to attend Adepticon this coming April.  This isn't my first time attending the iconic event, as I made the pilgrimage 2 years ago.  The sheer magnitude of the cost to attend this tournament certainly doesn't make this an easy decision to make.  With tickets running about $75 for the weekend badge and the 40k Championship, round-trip airfare running around , $300 from California, and rooms that cost $125 a night you are looking at eating a ton of ramen just to afford this thing.  Cost aside, this is THE tournament to attend if you are a 40k tournament gamer and want to test your metal against the best players in the country.  I believe there are 270-ish players in the Championship, with only 16 moving on to day 2.   The organizers do a good job making other events available after the championships, so when you get the inevitable loss in round one you can look forward to a busy weekend afterwards.

My biggest mistake the first time I went was signing up for too many events, sharing a room with too many people, and drinking my body weight in alcoholic beverages.     Seeing as how I've effectively stopped drinking any kind of alcohol (THANKS, OBAMA LIVER) that takes care of the expensive drunkenness.  As for the room situation, that is almost unavoidable.  I will be at the tournament for at total of 5 nights.  That will be around $550 just for the hotel alone.  I CANT AFFORD THAT SHIT!  So teaming up with 4 or five guys to crash on the floor is mandatory.  As for the events, I only plan on signing up for the Championships and then a couple of smaller events spread throughout the weekend.  I will be socializing a lot more this time around.

OK, so what the fuck is the title of this post going on about?  Well, I had just about finalized my 1850 list for Adepticon when, as usual, a nagging thought came to me (as it do).  Here is the original list I was set on taking,

Space Marines (Iron Hands)

Chapter Master - Terminator Armor, Shield Eternal, Thunder Hammer, Auspex
Tactical Squad- +5, Plasma Cannon, Plasma Gun, Rhino
Tactical Squad- +5, Plasma Cannon, Plasma Gun, Rhino
Scout Squad - Melta Bomb
Terminator Assault Squad- 4x Thunder Hammer/Storm Shield, Land Raider Crusader w/Multi-Melta
Land Speeder x2 - Typhoon Missile Launchers
Land Speeder - Multi-Melta, Heavy Flamer
Storm Talon - Sky Hammer Missiles
Devastator Squad - +3, Missile Launchers
Thunderfire Cannon
Whirlwind

A slight variant from the list that I took to Brawl in the Fall.

Then I got to reading Captain Dees' (Nutz) Feast of Blades tournament reports.  He had seized the initiative twice and that had either earned him an outright victory or made it extremely easy for him to defeat his opponent.  You hear about this all the time and it is certainly one of the most frustrating aspects of 40k 6th edition.  I also noticed an increase in Space Marine drop pod lists under review on various forums around the internetz.  I began musing on an old ally idea I had for Inquisitor Coteaz from the Grey Knights Codex.  With Coteaz you get the peace of mind that comes with his special rule Spy Network which causes your opponent to re-roll successful Seizes.   You also get the incredibly useful against drop pod spam special rule, I've Been Expecting You.  Of course, you have to take a troop choice with Coteaz, and here is where another of his special rules become gold.   Inquisitor Coteaz makes any Henchmen Squads troop choices.  So by adding Coteaz to my list not only do I get solid Seize and Drop Pod protection I also get another troop choice.

 FUCK'IN TITS N' SHIT

 So how would I load out the Henchmen Squad?  I would start with 3 plasma cannon armed Servitors.  Coteaz will have the psychic power Presience, so the ability to twin-link 3 plasma cannons is fan-fucking-tastic.  Remember, his rule I've Been Expecting You makes his unit able shoot at any unit that arrives within 12" of him.  This means that any unit dis-embarking from a drop pod and the drop pod itself are fair game for 3 twin-linked plasma cannons.  DEAL BREAKER.  I would also take 2 Crusaders to get a couple of 3++ saves and round out the unit with 3 or 4 Henchmen with hot-shot lasguns.  I would be giving up all three Land Speeders to get the points for this unit but I think they add so much to my list that it is totally worth it.  This also means the Iron Hands Chapter Tactics might not be the best since I would be getting rid of 3 vehicles so I'll be spending some time trying out the other ones.

So what do you guys think?  Is this a good replacement?  Will this assuage my fears of getting Raped Seized upon?  Am I getting too fat?

Your Screamer Star is bad and you should feel bad

If you are even remotely interested in competitive 40k then you are already familiar with the new hotness, the Screamer Star.  The Screamer Star, much like Riptide Spam or the 5th edition IG Blowjobber, takes advantage of over powered and under costed units to take advantage of weaknesses in the overall  structure of the game.  They also tend to take advantage of rules loopholes that Games Workshop either doesn’t realize exist or don’t care enough to change. For those of you unaware of how the Screamer Star works (and to a lesser degree the Khorne Dogg rush) the Demon player uses several different spells, demonic gifts, and war gear options to create a multi-wound unit that has a 2+ re-roll able invulnerable save.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Yes, your breath does stink.  It’s probably from the Doritos and Mountain Dew you had for breakfast, tubby.  Anyways, there is now essentially a ‘god mode’ cheat available to Demon players.

Unfortunately, this is far from a recent phenomenon in our little niche hobby.   Think about the last tournament you attended.  How many players were sporting 2 to 3 Helldrakes or Riptides?  How many people had armies that were so new you could SMELL the primer on them?  As long as Games Workshop continues to create units with over powered abilities primarily to sell models we will have asshole players who gleefully choose to buy these models instead of paying their minimum credit card payments on their 23% interest Citibank credit card.  That’s a run on sentence.

This recently got me to thinking about how little respect I have for people who run these lists.  Now, I’m not talking about someone who has a Riptide here or a Helldrake there; I’m talking about the all out cheese dick lists that make you shake your head in disgust.  Much like the image of your parents having sex without a condom.  You’re welcome.  I truly have no respect for people who take these army lists to a tournament.  I used to think that list building was a large part of the game and we should stand in awe of these killer lists that demolish dicks on the table top.  Now?  Not so much.  How much skill does it take to realize that a 2+ re-roll able invulnerable save multi-wound unit or 3 Helldrakes that have a 360 degree flamer template that is strength 7 AP 3 is a good thing?  Why should we respect these people?  Because they can read?  Because they can break the game and give their opponent no chance to beat them?  Guess what?  I can put my fat ass in my Taekwondo dobok and beat the shit out of a 5 year old in the studio across the street, but was I better than that kid or was I physically bigger than them?  Would you feel good about winning a fight like that?  If so, congratulations on having Tau-Dar list.

When I was 10 I figured out the invincibility code for Doom and I beat the game a couple days later.  Sure, it was nice getting to the end of the game but it wasn't satisfying.  The cheat code had cheapened my experience.  I view these cheese ball lists the same way.  When 6th edition broke I played a game with my Grey Knights using Draigo and a unit of Paladins.  This was before the FAQ took away the Paladin’s ability to look out sir each other and all of their shots were precision.   The game was a slaughter.  The look on my opponent’s eyes as his entire army shot at this unit and couldn't take out a single model was enough for me.  I packed that unit away and never played it again.  I realized that I had unlocked the invincibility code.  I now have far more respect for players that can win tournaments with armies that do not take advantage of the latest hot shit.   Much like Mr. Glass searches for lone survivors in the movie Unbreakable, I scour the major tournament standings for players that win with generic lists.  Those are the truly good players.  Those are the ones to watch out for.

Thanks for reading.

RD

Brawl in the Fall Recap

Gather 'round friends, 'cuz its time for a tournament recap.  This weekend me and the rest of the Team Zero comp 'B' team traveled down to sunny Clovis California to take part in the annual rogue trader tournament, Brawl in the Fall.  Image the delight of the tournament organizers when instead of Reece, Frankie, Dan and Grant they get the slovenly Pascal, Jeremy, Keno, and Jason.  The frightful foursome (porn title patent pending) Oops!

Did you know that Fresno had a bad part of town?  I do now!  Not wanting to wake up at 5 am to make the 3 hour drive to Clovis yours truly had the bright idea to simply google 'Motel 6 Fresno' and make a reservation for the first motel to pop up.  I knew I made a huge mistake when we pull into the motel at 10 pm Friday night and it is literally ringed by prostitutes and semi-trucks.  Needless to say we slept with one eye opened and were up and out of there as soon as the sun rose.  Also, there was a tweeker with a pit bull knocking on our door trying to sell us a bag of priceless gold coins he found in a Crown Royal bag.  THAT HAPPENED TO ME.

On to the tournament!

So here is the basics for the Brawl in the Fall tournament.  It is a  one day 1750 point, 3 round tournament using the Bay Area Open mission format.  If you are interested in running a tournament using this format or just curious about what the hell I'm talking about, you can find the info here.  Let me just say that I LOVE this tournament.  It is capped at around 40 players and draws great locals and out-of-towners alike.  Some of the Sacramento crew like the lovely Liz Foster and the guy with the mowhawk haircut came down as well as some people from as far as Bakersfield.  I really encourage anyone who can to attend this tournament at least once.  Here is their info if you are interested.

Before we get to my opponents, let's go over my list for the Brawl

Jason Butler Raw Dogger
Iron Hands 1750

(Self Portrait)

LIST
Chapter Master - Terminator Armor, Thunder Hammer, Shield Eternal
Terminator Assault Squad - 4x Thunder Hammer +Storm Shield 1x Lightning Claw, Land Raider Crusader
Tactical Squad- +5, Vet Sarg with Power Ax, Plasma Cannon, Plasma Gun, Rhino
Tactical Squad- +5, Vet Sarg with Power Ax, Plasma Cannon, Plasma Gun, Rhino
Scout Squad- +1, Melta Bomb, 1x Sniper Rifle
Storm Talon- Assault Cannons, Skyhammer Missles
Land Speeder x2, Typhoon Missile Launchers
Devastator Squad- +3, 4x Missile Launchers
Whirlwind

A fairly basic Space Marine list.  I wanted to try out the Iron Hands' chapter tactics (6+ Feel No Pain, It Will Not Die on vehicles and characters).  I'm not really impressed with those and in the future will most likely run the army as Ultramarines for the greater versatility.

GAME 1  Primary- Purge the Alien  Secondary - The Scouring 
 Result = Win

Opponent: Grant (lives near Yosemite)
Army: Dark Angels

List:  Grant didn't have an extra army list so this is from memory.

Sammael- On the jet bike thing.
Librarian- Powerfield
Ravenwing Command Squad- Apothecary, Banner, Champion
Dreadnought- Twin Linked Lascannons
Ravenwing- x6 Multimelta Attack Bike and Land Speeder Typhoon
Ravenwing- x6 Multimelta Attack Bike and Land Speeder Typhoon
Dark Shroud
Whirlwind
Whirlwind
Devestator Squad- 4x Lascannons

Thoughts:  This game was tough and went down to the last turn.  I had actually thought I lost this game due to Grant getting some last turn kill points but it turned out that I had one more than he did when the game ended.  I forgot how good that 5+ feel no pain is on that damned Command Squad as when it came down to the assault with my Terminators and Chapter Master and his Command Squad he could not stop rolling 5+ feel no pain to thunder hammer wounds.  Oh well.  I really liked his army.  A mix of fast moving, hard hitting bike squads and artillery and lascannons from the back field.  Also, he yelled 'Khan!!!11!!' whenever something bad happened and that ALWAYS scores bonus points in my book.  Thanks, Grant!

GAME 2 Primary- Emperors Will Secondary- Big Guns Never Tire
Result= Loss!

Opponent: Joe (redacted)
Army: Eldar

List
Farseer- Jetbike,
Fire Dragons- Wave Serpent
Dire Avengers- Exarch, Wave Serpent
Guardians- Scatter Laser, Wave Serpent
Guardians- Bright Lance
Jetbike Squadron
Warp Spiders- Exarch
Swooping Hawks- Exarch
Fire Prism
War Walkers x2
War Walker x1

Thoughts:  I knew this was going to be an uphill battle going into this game.  Eldar are a nightmare and this list is exactly what I am afraid of.  Serpent Shields that ignore cover and do d6+1 hits demolish my Rhinos, Whilwind and Speeders.  They out range me and and can hit me from anywhere on the board.  The Bright Lances also make short work of my Land Raider, leaving my assault Terminators to hoof it towards their (fast moving) lines, only to be rended to death by their basic troops (who I can't catch).  The game would have been over sooner had there not been a giant line of sight blocking piece of terrain in the middle of the table that I hid behind.

GAME 3 Primary-Table Quarters! Secondary- Purge the Alien
Result: Win!

Opponent: Matt Majchen
Army: Space Wolves

List
Rune Priest- Chooser of the Slain, Living Lightning, Jaws
Rune Priest- Jaws, Murderous Hurricane
Grey Hunters- Plasma Guns, Rhino
Grey Hunters- Plasma Guns, Rhino
Grey Hunters- Meltaguns
Grey Hunters- Meltaguns
Grey Hunters- Flamers, Drop Pod
Grey Hunters- Flamers, Drop Pod
Thunderwolf Cavalry x2, Meltabombs
Thunderwolf Cavalry x2, Power Fist
Long Fangs- Missile Launchers
Long Fangs- Missile Launchers

Thoughts: I have a LOT of respect for the 5th edition Space Wolves horde lists.  That many armor 3 bodies on the table is going to be trouble for anyone to deal with.  Me and Matt talked a lot about his list during the game and we agreed that he is really struggling with anti-air.  If he goes against a 2 or 3 Helldrake list he will be losing 2-3 units per turn.  A great opponent, major balls for taking this list, and a nice guy overall.  Cheers, Matt!

So that's it.  Another Brawl has come and gone and once again, I had an EXCELLENT time.  Overall, I am happy with my list and barring the Chapter Tactics I most likely won't be changing anything in it for some time to come.  The next big tournament will be Adepticon in April.  This will be 1850 so I will most likely add a Thunder Fire Cannon into the mix and call it a day.  Thanks for reading!

Beasts of War Waylaid! Comikaze Cancelled! Alliteration Abounds!

Hello all,

Apologies for not writing for so long, but I honestly just had nothing to say.  They say the key to creating a lasting blog with hundreds of followers is to post consistently and often.  That's probably right.  Anyways, here are some things that happened this week in wargaming that I cared about.

Comikaze Cancelled

After two strong years, the love child of cosplay and 40k has come to an end.  I've gone to both of the previous Comikaze tournaments and had been planning on attending this year as well so I was pretty bummed when the news dropped that the event was being cancelled.  I believe the cap was going to be 64 players, and since not even half of the spots had been filled by last week, the convention organizers decided it was not worth the hassle and cancelled the tournament outright.  It seems strange that they wouldn't even give Reece and the guys at Frontline Gaming the last few weeks (3 weeks) to get sales up.  You can read about it on Dakka here.   It seems to me that they already had another act lined up for the floor space and gave Frontline an impossible target, knowing that they wouldn't be able to sell the tickets in time.  A bum deal all around.  It really was a fun event and drew a TREMENDOUS amount of curious convention goers to the gaming area to see what all these fat guys were doing with their little army men.  Games Workshop could learn a thing or two about marketing from Reece and the guys at Frontline Gaming.

Beasts of War Waylaid

Yesterday, the premier tabletop wargaming news and preview site announced that due to legal pressure from Games Workshop they would be ceasing their partnership with Wayland Games.  You can watch the youtube announcement here.   The quick and dirty is that Games Workshop was not happy with Beasts of War for previewing their model kits and talking about upcoming model releases.  Games Workshop, through roundabout means, continuously sent Beasts of War cease and desist letters which were for the most part largely ignored.  Games Workshop craftily went after Beast of War's partner and financier Wayland Games, and threatened to block their distribution account.  Wayland games wisely took the high road and cut Beasts of War loose.  The worst part about watching that video is Warren's complete disbelief that Games Workshop would do this to him.  While they will be leaving to continue to produce (and fund) the show on their own, it most likely will be a slow and painful death for Beasts of War.  That's business, bitch!

Non-Taudar Dominance?  BULLSHIT

So we had two large-ish tournaments go down in the last week or two and SURPRISE two non-Taudar armies came out on top.  The Golden Throne tournament (Southwest) saw a strong Space Marine showing with a White Scars army come out on top.  I'm not too surprised about White Scars being the front runners of the Space Marines codex, as they are extremely fast and hard hitting.  I still think that  more people should take three Hell-Drakes but that's just me.  At Battle Foam's Duel Con in Mesa, Arizona we saw Daemon dominance on the top tables.  From what I hear the amount of line of site blocking terrain and the crazy amount of Screamer Stars spelled the doom for point and click shooting armies.  Personally I think the people who take the Screamer Stars are just as bad as those people taking the Riptides with characters, etc.

So that's it!  Next week I'll try and get a couple posts in.  I've just finished the heresy novella Mark of Calth that I want to talk about and I'll go over my list for the upcoming Brawl in the Fall.  Peace!

Dark Angels Black Knights are the new GOLD

Hello all,

Apologies for the delayed postings, but you know....life.  I wanted to talk with you today about a unit in the Dark Angels codex that recently caught my eye, the Black Knights.  No, I'm not talking about the delightful comedy romp starring Martin Lawrence (though I could write an entire blog post about the topic), I'm talking about the Dark Angel's elite hard hitting, bike riding hooligans.

I'll be honest.  The first time I read through the Dark Angels codex I didn't give the Black Knights a second glance.  I was far more interested in the standard Raven Wing bikers.  This was mostly because I like to run Azrael and his ability to unlock the standard bikers as Troop choices really interested me.  After several months of running Dark Angels as my primary army I was becoming dissatisfied with my Ravenwing bikers.  While their toughness 5 was nice and their 4/5+ jink save is useful, the plethora of Helldrakes being fielded rendered them fairly obsolete.  Don't get me wrong I still love to run them in my army lists, and with Azrael being my primary HQ it's nice to have such fast moving Troop choices, but they just weren't getting as much done as I thought they would.  Enter Reece Robbins.  My roommate and sexual confidant, Reece mentioned that he had begun to use the Black Knights in his own Dark Angels force and expounded their merits both loudly and drunkenly.  Intrigued, I began to look into the unit more closely.  Here's the basics,

• Toughness 5 
• 12'' movement plus a 12'' turbo boost.  Relentless.
• Skilled Rider.  +1 jink save/automatic dangerous terrain pass
• Frag/Krak grenades.
• Teleport Homer
• Grim Resolve (Stubborn LD)
• Hit and Run
• Scouts (12'' move?YES)
• Corvus Hammer.  Strength 5 rending attacks.  Arguably more powerful than a power weapon.  4 attacks on the charge.  Yes please.
• Plasma Talon.  Twin-Linked 18'' Plasma Guns.  

As you can see, they are pretty hard hitting both in the shooting phase AND the assault phase.  They are 15 points more expensive than a Ravenwing biker and get SO MUCH MORE.  Why did I miss these guys? 

There is still one nagging issue.  How to deal with the ever prevalent Hell Turkeys with their 360 degree Strength 7 AP 3 Flamer of Doom (oh and also their Strength 7 no cover save Vector Strikes).   After some thought and consultation with the council (Frontline Games)  it was determined that by taking the Ravenwing Command Squad you could get an Apothecary for around 20 more points (DA FAQ now allows you to add 2 more Black Knights to the Command Squad).  This way you get Feel No Pain against Hell Turkey shenanigans and makes them more survivable to small arms fire.  

That wasn't enough though, I needed them to be MORE durable (I roll a LOT of 1's and 2's).  Since I HAVE to take an HQ on a bike to unlock the Ravenwing Command Squad, I decided to go with a Librarian.  I then gave him the Power Field Generator, which grants the model and any other model within 3'' a 4+ Invulnerable save.  NOW WE'RE COOKING WITH FIRE!  Oh, it also confers a 4+ invulnerable save to ENEMY units withing 3"?  FUCK.MY.NUTS.  Well, the trick is to not get charged if you can help it and break the Librarian off if you MUST charge the unit into something.  The 4+ Invulnerable Save is pretty crucial to my overall list (READ: MY NEXT POST) so it IS very important for this guy to have it, so again, just be smart with your positioning. 

What do you guys think about these Caballero Negroes?

Why Tau Will Rock Your Face 100% of the Time

This past weekend I went to a local RTT that also happened to be a qualifier for the upcoming Feast of Blades tournament in Denver, Colorado.  I brought what I THOUGHT would be a tournament winning Dark Angels/Imperial Guard 1850 point list.  I won't lie, I walked into the game store pretty confident in my list.  If you described me as being a bit cocky it would be an understatement.  Alpha Striking terminators with the Azrael/Guard 4+ Invulnerable save blob of DOOOOOOOOM?  I gots that!  I was ready to beat it like a sore dick, i.e. hard.  Little did I know I was about to be the sore dick getting beaten i.e. hard.

I would like to preface my embarrassing defeat with the fact that I have not really played against nor have I read to far into the new Tau codex.  I knew that they shot dead killy and were almost as tricksy as the light on their feet Eldar, but was ultimately so unprepared for what was to come I'm surprised I was still wearing my pants by the end of turn 2.  By the end of turn 3 I had to call the game, since that's just how I roll (READ: I'm a quitter, Vol.1).  So what happened, Raw Dogger?  What caused you to consider Tau the new hottest thing?  The best army since sliced bread?  Please keep in mind that I STILL have not read through the Tau codex so I'm basing my opinions off of what beat me to hell in the game.

• Did you know that Tau can take Interceptor for basically ALL of their units for around 5 points?  I sure didn't!  Having an all reserve (deep striking) force really, REALLY sucked in a game with 6 Intercepting Missile Broadsides and 2 Intercepting Riptides.  This should also be a lesson on NOT reading your opponents list.  I told my opponent that he could just tell me what things were when he was deploying, and I didn't really pay attention to what he was telling me.  As in 'Hey, your whole army is rendered obsolete so you know...want to get any early lunch?'
• Cover saves?  How you are supposed to operate in a game against an overwhelming shooting army when you cannot get cover saves?  'Why don't you kill the units with Marker Lights, Fatso?'  Well, dick, most of their units HAVE the Marker Lights so if you want to take them out you need to kill the whole army.
• Riptides.  FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.  My opponent had two of these bad boyz, and to be honest, so would I.  Yes, they CAN hurt themselves when over charging their weapons but that never happened to me.  So yeah.
• NO COVER SAVES.
• Blocking Terrain gets negated by their no line of sight weapons.  So even if you try to avoid being seen, you still get blasted in the face.

I'm sure there is a LOT more that makes them insufferable, I just didn't last long enough to find out.  I think the thing that makes me the most upset is the fact that there is LITERALLY nothing you can do about getting shot off the board.  All I could do was hunker down and hope I had models left on objectives by the end of the game.  This isn't enjoyable.   

The Curious Case of Christina Campbell

If you had 'identity fraud' as the next issue to plague our wargaming community, step up and claim your prize! What prize you may ask?  A swift kick to the nuts.  Yes, the 40k wargaming podcast community (this is a thing) was recently 'catfished' in a surprisingly underexposed scandal.

  

Yes, in a community that explodes whenever Games Workshop gets up to scratch its balls, the story of a person (man) pretending to be an attractive woman who plays Warhammer 40k gets a reaction I can most closely replicate as 'meh'.  Check out the Dakka Dakka thread here where BolingbrokeIV spills the juicy details in this strange and twisted story,

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about (i.e. you don't waste your time listening to 40k podcasts or reading online 40k forums) Christina Campbell was a 'woman' who joined the 40k podcast Deepstrike Radio after an on air interview where she apparently detailed her near death experience and her new found love for all things 40k.  I was actually aware of her through The Independent Characters' (another 40k podcast) Facebook page, where she was an avid poster.  I believe I actually checked out her profile once, thinking she looked a lot like the actress that plays the secretary in The Office and now that I think of it, those might have been the actual actress' pictures....

Hello, I'm Christina..err..Erin..err..Mike

A couple of weeks ago, Christina Campbell died.  Remember that previous near death experience?  Well, it finally got the best of her and she died suddenly.  There was much wailing and lamenting from the 40k community.  We lost one of our unicorns!  We only have like, two left (that I'm aware of).  How unfair for us!  That could have been the end of it.....

Soon, several 40k podcasters got together to host a memorial show where many fond memories of hearing her voice were conveyed.  Christina's grieving widow, Alexander, was interviewed and two tearful hours later the 40k community was silently cursing all of the dust in their mom's basement.  That could have been the end of it.....

A few days ago, Deepstrike Radio posted a message on their blog stating that Christina Campbell was not dead.  In fact, Christina Campbell never existed at all!  What about her grieving widow?  Alexander?  He was also fictitious, and most likely was the same person who had claimed to be Christina Campbell in the first place.  How could this happen?  Remember, Deepstrike Radio is a podcast that uses dial in hosts from around the world.  Many people had claimed that her voice sounded a bit...off..but reasoned it was her computer's microphone causing the distortion.  All traces of Christina Campbell have disappeared.  Her Facebook profile has been deleted, as has her friend's (fake) and family's (fake).  Needless to say, all of those involved are highly embarrassed and are hoping the story blows over.  The fact is, this is the most amazing story that has involved our strange, niche 40k community in quite some time.  Some person (man) went through a LOT of trouble to troll the wargaming podcast community....and completely pulled it off.  So, Christina Campbell, wherever you are...a tip of the cap....like so...

A turd by any other name....

....... is my Grey Knight's list that I took to a local 1750 point tournament this past weekend.  I don't want to go through the entire list again, and one needs to look no further than my last post (over a week ago) to see the list in detail.  Let's just say that with only 17 models in the entire list (not counting the Bastion) I did manage to go 2-1, though lady luck has more to do with that than any discernible skill on my part.

I had a whole plan for this post, but seeing as how I attribute most of the positives from the list to luck I'm just going to go over some of the pros and cons of the list that I think might interest people.

 *I'm not taking the time to go over my list again. Please go back and read the last post to get the details...Don't be an asshole...*

PROS

• Low model count.  This made taking the time to set up properly not so much of a hassle.  A lot of games are lost due to poor deployment, and having a large army can lead to this at times.  If you only have a few units, they more than likely each have a specific job and you can spend a good amount of time making sure they are set up to do their job properly.
• Powerful units. Lord Kaldor 'd'Brikashaw Ferguson' Draigo and Paladin friends make for an intimidating unit, and there wasn't much on the table that could handle them.  I believe in my last game against Necrons, d'Brikashaw aka Draigo took every wound from two Annihilation Barges....TWICE.  Yes, friends, placement is everything.  
• Coteaz is the Grey Knight tax, and putting him in the unit of Paladins/Draigo is just mean.  I've Been Expecting You with two Psycannons and strength 5 Storm Bolters will make most players rage quit 100% of the time.  PRO TIP: Don't tell your opponent about I've Been Expecting You. 
• A Vindicare in a Bastion firing from fire points can make sure your opponent is going to have a bad day.  In the same game that Draigo was taking wounds from Annihilation Barges, the Vindicare exploded both of the same Barges.  Now, to be honest, he did make about 400 4+ Invulnerable saves and about 10 6+ Feel No Pain saves from being glanced by 60 rapid firing Warriors....
• A Dreadnight with a heavy incinerator deep striking will ruin a LOT of people's days.  Especially Necrons.
• A Storm Raven's mindstrike missles make Paladins die (and shit their pants).

CONS

• Low model count.  With two troop choices and the majority of book missions being objective based, you are going to have a really steep hill to climb.  Throw in the fact that we use the BAO (Bay Area Open) format in most west coast tournaments now, which mix in objectives in EACH mission, and 17 models starts looking REALLY unattractive.
• No real anti-horde.  I was fortunate to not have faced any horde armies or else I would have been in big trouble.  Yes, I had a Storm Raven, but it was kitted out to take out enemy fliers.
• Draigo AKA d'Brikashaw Ferguson ain't what he used to be.  Yes, he can still destroy most enemies, but with his sword now being AP3 and unless he is fighting a demon or psycher, he has a hard time taking out anyone with a decent armor/invulnerable save.  I actually forgot his sword was AP3 and challenged Belial in my first game.  I almost lost Draigo to that pigeon toed fucker (He was making his 2 ups and I was failing my 3 ups...).
• A Vindicare assassin might look cool, but he dies to mass bolter fire just the same.  With just a 4+ invulnerable save, and even with a 3+ cover save most of the time, he only has two wounds and you are GOING to roll 2 twos when rolling for 12-15 saves.
• Low model count.  I'm going to say this again.  With that low model count, when you lose a unit it REALLY HURTS.  

So with that said, here is how I would improve the list.

• Drop the Bastion and Vindicare and take two Psyflemen Dreadnoughts.  I know this has become cliche, but it's for a good reason.  They tear shit up and do it on the cheap.  Vindicare's are cool, and If I went up to 1850 I would most likely drop a Paladin and take him.  They can be made scoring with Draigo.
• Drop the lascannon on the Storm Raven and bring the assault cannon and find points for the hurricane bolters.  With Psybolt ammo it's just too good and I still think Storm Ravens are where it'st at (it's no Vendetta).

So that't it.  I hope you found this remotely useful.  Next blog post will be about Terminators and why you're an asshole for thinking every army should have a cheap counter for them.

Incoming! Blood Angels



Hello friends, just wanted to pop in and say that I've finally gotten settled into my new home (well, it's technically my old home).  That's right, the Kimchi Warrior has moved back to sunny California and is currently living at home with his parents (ladies, take a number!).  On the plus side I get to see all of my old friends and have even found a nice little game store with a small but growing Warhammer/40k community.  But wait, there's more!  To top off this little sundae it just so happens that the store (Gameology, in Montclair, California...for those interested http://www.gameologyshop.com/) is beginning an escalation 40k league with a respectable 10-12 players that spans 5 months.  The games begin at 500 points then move to 750 points, 1k, 1.5k, 2k, and then culminates with a 2k tournament in June.  When I heard this I thought "Look at that bird",  remembered that I have ADD, then thought "Excellent, I'm just beginning a Blood Angels army! What better way to get the feel of a new army than by an escalation league!"  So faster than you can say 'donkey boner' I signed up for the league and eagerly started painting my initial 500 points.  What follows is my 500 point 'January' army that I'll be using in my two games this month.

HQ

Librarian w/Shield of Sanguinius and Smite and Infernus Pistol (this guy is cheap at 100 points with a power/force weapon and gives a 5+ cover save to anyone within 6 inches as well as an Assault 4/St.4/AP 2 shooting attack.  He also gives the psychic hood.  Not a bad little hq choice and dirt cheap for what he does.)

ELITES

Sanguinary Priest (at 50 points and the ability to give any unit within 6 inches Feel No Pain and Furious Charge, this guy is an auto-include in any list.  Just watch out because he dies easily in close combat and as an independent character can be picked out in CC)

TROOPS

2x Assault Squad w/ Power Weapon and Melta Gun (these guys are a small unit, only running 4 marines and a Sergeant but they pack a punch in CC.  With the Feel No Pain and Furious Charge bubble they are hitting anything they charge with 15 strength 5 initiative 5 attacks, 4 of which are by power weapon.  With the melta gun they are also able to deal with tanks, though with one shot this shouldn't be relied upon.)

Razorback w/Hvy Bltr and Razorback w/Twin Linked LasCannon (when taken as dedicated transports for Assault Squads on foot they are a super 35 points cheaper.  At such a low point game you can't go too nuts with these guys or you are going to find yourself short in other areas..something you can't afford to do.  With one Razor dedicated to anti-tank and another anti-personnel you have yourself fairly well covered.)

So that's it for now.  I'll post some pics soon of my painted models and also give you the update of my January games.  Until then, Keep Watching The Skies!!!11!

Grave Guard or The Great, (Skull) White, Hope

Today I want to quickly talk about a Vampire Counts unit that is near and dear to my heart; the mighty Grave Guard!  The remains of ancient warriors and kings, the Grave Guard serve their Vampire masters long after they have perished from the mortal realm.  Unlike their weaker, more slow-witted skeleton warrior brothers, the Grave Guard boast fairly good stats, backed up by a Wight Blade and heavy armour.  No Vampire Counts player would be caught dead without these stalwart spectres and what follows are the main points that I think make them so valuable.

Great Stat Line:  The Grave Guard boast a pretty good statline (we are undead afterall!).  With strength and toughness 4, they are better able to deal with more elite infantry and cavalry than any other Undead infantry unit.  Their strengh 4 guarantees that the enemy will have a -1 to their armour saves.

Command:  While at first glance this seems obvious, it is worth it to note the various Undead units that are not able to take Standard Bearers.  Grave Guard can benefit from mostly all of the Magic Banners available, most notably the Banner of the Barrows (+1 to hit) and the Drakenhoff Banner (Regeneration).

Heavy Armour:  This is an awesome thing for an Undead infantry unit to have, effectively giving them a 4+ save against shooting and a 3+ save in Close Combat.  Yes please!

Wight Blades:  Every Grave Guard skeleton carries the magical Wight Blade, which is a magic weapon that causes Killing Blow.  ALL YOUR OGRES ARE BELONG TO US!

Great Weapons:  So everything listed above doesn't get your underpants a little tighter?  Well, how about strength 6 great weapons that also have Killing Blow?  Oh, why yes, you may go use the bathroom...just dont use all of my hand lotion.

Point Cost:  How much would you pay for a unit with this much awesomenss...20 points a model?  15?  How about 12.  13 with Great Weapons.  Bam.

The best use of Grave Guard is as a hammer unit.  Basically, you throw a combat Vampire Lord, as well as a Wight King with a Magical Army Standard towards anything you want to die.  I have had these boys chew threw giant blocks of Saurus Temple Guard in two turns.  BBQ frog anyone?  They are also good at taking out incredably tough characters, such as Blood Thirsters or Hellpit Abominations.  Whatever you choose to do with these fiendish friends I guarantee you wont be disappointed.

Below are some shots of the Grve Guard that I use in my army.  As you can see I went with the same red and gold them that I have been using throughout the army.  Enjoy!