Friday, September 12, 2014

Kimchi's back, ALRIGHT!

Guess who's back, back again?  Guess who's back, tell a friend (just not your mom).

 That's right nerds your favorite 40k hater is back after my annual summer blogging vacation.  I would call it a sabbatical but than I would be lying because I haven't been doing any research to further my 40k education.  Unless you count losing almost every single game of 40k I've played over the past months 40k research.  In my real life I have gotten married, moved to a new place with the new wife, bought larger pants, and have been busily moonlighting as project manager for Frontline Gaming's commission paint service.  That is, of course, on top of my day job as a general manager of a college bookstore.  So the long and short of it is that I've been too busy to write blood pressure raising pissed off 40k articles for you lazy cunts.  But fear not, drunken reader, for I have returned to you like Jesus returned to the Jews on the 8th day and all was well. Is that how that thing goes?  It's been awhile since I've read the bible.

So here is the plan.  I need to get back into the blogging state of mind.  I can only get so much angry inspiration from watching my cat eat constantly and get fatter so I need a way to ease myself back into daily writing.  For the next 5 days I will write a blog post about the 5 worst units in 40k and why you are a terrible person for using them in your army list.  Now I'm not talking about worst as in extremely powerful units that make playing the game of 40k unpleasant for all of those involved (WRAITHKNIGHTS).  These will be units that are so over costed or under performing as to be completely irrelevant in the current 7th edition.

There are actually so many more than 5 units that Games Workshop's incompetence has rendered useless in Warhammer 40k that I will give ya'll a sneak peak into what I'm putting down.

(Warning: Picture makes Land Raiders look more badass than they actually are)


Why They Stink

  • Over-costed
  • Take up a Heavy Support Choice unless taken as a transport of Terminators (which stink)
  • Too big to fit in my shoe box army transport.
  • 10 pt. Melta Gun
  • 10 pt. Multi Melta
  • 15 pt. Grav Gun
  • Elar
  • Dark Eldar
  • Necrons
  • Lucky Lascannon hit and punch (AP2)
How to Make Them Not Stink
  • Decrease point cost.
  • Make dedicated transport for units other than Terminators (which stink)
  • Make them come with Ceramite Plating as standard wargear.
Ah the ubiquitous Land Raider.  Never have so many points been spent on so much fail.  If you truly bring Land Raiders in your list and claim that they are murder machines on the table you might want to re-evaluate the caliber of players you game with.  Any tournament player worth their salt will have the tools to take out your 260 point brick by turn 2.  Get a brain, morans!


WolflordAkela said...

Will you be at Brawl in the Fall? I think the tournament will lack if there's not some wise-cracking nerd jockey like yourself to push around the other nerds.

Rawdogger said...

Yes I'll be there again this year. Totally stoked for the 2 day format!