This Week in 40k: April Week 1

Howdy dudes!  Your favorite phat guy Rawdogger here again with another ‘This Week in 40k‘.  This week we saw the beginning of the pre-orders for the Astra Militarum, whatever the fuck that is, as well as the biggest 40k tournament this side of the Western Hemisphere, Adepticon.  I’ll give you a hint, Orks didn’t win.  LET’S HIT THIS SHIT!

Astra Militarum Pre-Release Dance Party is a Go!

LOL remember that time that Games Workshop completely changed the name of an iconic race in their super popular space wars game just so that other people couldn't use that iconic generic name for similar products?  That wasn’t a dream?  Is this real life?  Yes, unfortunately it’s not a joke that Games Workshop changed the name of Imperial Guard to Astra Militarum.  Does that mean Star Army?  I don’t know my Latin is pretty rusty.  Games Workshop is like a moody teenager sometimes.  First they give us Dino Bots ™ for the Chaos Space Marine codex to appeal to 12 year olds, then they change the name of the Imperial Guard to Astra Militarum to appeal to scientists and doctors.  Regardless of the name change, there are some other notable changes coming to the codex, if the rumors prove to be accurate.  Everyone’s favorite Rambo knock off is apparently gone from the codex.  He must have been too over powered.  But don’t lament, I’m sure we’ll be seeing Dataslate: Marco (digital only) pretty soon.  Only $15.99!  That’s pretty good!  Also it looks like there’s a new IG tank kit, the Hydra/Wyvern.  The Wyvern’s stats look pretty good.  2 twin linked blasts at strength 4 that ignore cover and have the shred special rule?  I’ll take 3!  The only downside is that they can’t fit under the Skyshield Landing Pad.  The Hydra became open topped, which kind of sucks, but they most likely got a point reduction.  Other things that are cool include order cards, Vendetta point increases (don’t you fucking kid yourself), and new Lord Commissar with Arabian sword and dancing pose.  Things that aren’t so cool include retarded Orgryn and Taurox models and keeping those shitty Space Marine sized plastic Cadian models.

Models missing from Games Workshop website.  Helldrakes unfortunately still available.

This past week we saw many popular models go missing from the Games Workshop website.  Models such as Inquisitor Coteaz and Chaos Obliterators come to mind  for me.  Conspiracy theories are quickly springing up, with some saying that since the missing models are all Fail Cost ™ that GW is moving these models to a new type of plastic and others saying that the missing models have something to do with the rumored website change happening on May 7th.  Shit is serious enough for Larry Vela from BOLS to write a loosely veiled Faeit212 bitch slap about the ridiculousness of conspiracy theorizing about the changes to GW’s website.  Whatever the hell is really going on over in La La Land (Nottingham) all we know is that very popular models from all ranges are missing and have not reappeared for several days.

NEWSFLASH! Adepticon 40k Tournament Champion Brings Cheesy List

In case you were wondering, Nick Nanavanowitz won the Adepticon 40k Championship for the second year in a row.  He one by bring a very balanced Chaos Daemon list with a couple of each unit and a Slaneesh Greater Daemon.  Just kidding, he brought a Fateweaver Flying Circus army backed up by a minimal Chaos Space Marine allied detachment with a Helldrake.  What, you didn't expect a seasoned 40k tournament vet to bring a list that would challenge him, would you?  KNAVE!  With a field of shitty Taudar, Eldtau, Dark Eltau, FKHahasjh, Jskhak, type lists flooding the Adepticon Championship I don’t blame the guy for taking a list that can hang.  It doesn’t really impress me though.  It’s like watching a small man getting raped in prison by a bigger man.  Yeah it’s fun to look at and talk about but the outcome is far from surprising.  Yes, I AM happy with that analogy.

See you next week, haters!

This Week in 40K - March Week 4

Hey ya’ll! 

Welcome to another Rumor Roundup 40k Week in Review! 

I’m your host for the evening, Rawdogger.  Hold on to your assholes, cuz this week has been 40-kray kray.

Codex: Storm Troopers Militarum Tempestus released. 

Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?  No, it’s a $50 codex with 5 pages of rules (approximate estimation).  Don’t get me wrong, the new Storm Troopers Scions look really great.  So much so, that I will be buying a couple boxes to use as Inquisitional Henchmen.  The fact that you get 5 models for $35 is a pretty sweet deal in Games Workshop land.  They even give you the option of ONE whole special weapon! Does sarcasm work in print?  No?  We’ll fuck you, shit-head! (that wasn't sarcastic). The fact that you can have Commissars leading the Storm Troopers Scions is also pretty fucking radical.  I love me my Commissars and the models have always been some of my favorites in the game.  I think we can all agree that the Tard-Ox vehicle looks stupid.  Right?  Do I really have to go into a tirade about how shitty that thing looks?  Somehow the prime looks even shittier.  The codex is a codex in the sense that the Imperial Knight book is a codex. Codex.  That was the name of Felicia Day’s character on The Guild. God she’s hot. Mmmmmmm. Where was I?  Oh yeah.  So the Militarum Tempestus can be used as a stand alone army or as an ally to (most likely) other Imperial Forces.  I actually think that is pretty cool, but once again GW has gone to far with a good thing and made a $50 monstrosity that could have easily been a thinned down supplemental codex that could retail for $25.  I guaran-fucking-tee that they would still have a monster margin on something like that.  They would most likely sell more, too, as more people would be able to stomach that price point for a hardcover book that details 3 units.  I had more to say on this subject but just thinking of Felicia Day has me all hot and bothered.  I’ll be in my bunk.

40k Alter of War mission compendium released. 

Hey friend, did you happen to collect all the new digital data slates, codices, and supplements?  You didn’t?  Well have I got good news for you!  Games Workshop took all the missions from those digital releases and PRINTED them for your convenience!  Only for the low, low price of $49.95!  Don’t say Games Workshop never did anything nice for you!  WOW!  Man, GW be double dippin an’ shit.  Look, I get that the Carl Tuttles of the world will be more than happy to drive this narrative right through the fucking house.  How about they work on a useable rule-set for competitive 40k instead of repackaging rules for narrative forging missions that no one cares about?  Can a brother get an AMEN??

Tyranid Rising Leviathan Part Trois!

So the third and final installment of the Leviathan Tyranid formations was released this week.  I’ll say one thing about it, Games Workshop must REALLY need to sell Tyranid Warriors.  Who knew that T4 multiwound models was bad thing?  The writers of the codex, apparently.  There are a couple good-ish ones in this last formation installment.  I’m kind of partial to the Subterranean Swarm, but the point cost of the formation is fairly steep.  It's nice to see Games Workshop try to fix the Tyranids after the fact, but it just feels that the formations they're creating are only being made to sell the slow selling models.  NO SHIT.

This Week in 40k - March Week 3

Oh hai there!  I'm your host, Rawdogger, and this is my 40k Week in Review.

A bit of a quiet week, all snark concerned, but like a fly drawn to cat poop I'm always able to sniff out the fresh squeeze.  As usual, most information un-apologetically stolen from such sites as Faeit212 and BOLS.  No information was found Stelek's blog, if that is still a thing.  On to the news!

Limited Edition Void Shield Generator and Crater Sets Released.   Chinese recasters say ‘that’s a lotta Dim Sum!’  

Cool pic stolen from Warhammer 39,999

If you don’t get that joke in the headline, don’t worry, because neither do I.  Games Workshop released an extremely limited, extremely over costed Void Shield Generator model this past week, which sold out in about 10 minutes.  I’m assuming Carl over at The Independent Characters snagged 10 and probably pre-ordered the digital Void Shield Generator Data Slate.  While there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth in the hobby community, most fail to see the genius move this was for Games Workshop.  Think about it. The molds for the kits they made were resin, which is considerably cheaper to produce than plastic molds.  Secondly, by making it a limited edition model, they were more than guaranteed to sell out of the run they produced.  Last, the vast majority of those sales were direct to customer which means their margins were significantly higher than if they sold the models through your FLGS (Fat Local Game Store).  They now have a mold of a model that they KNOW will sell.  I think we will be seeing much more of these ‘limited’ releases in order to gauge customer responses from Games Workshop in the future.

Dataslate: Hellbrute released, reminding the 40k community that Hellbrutes aren't very good.

This weekend Games Workshop released it’s latest Chaos Space Marine digital supplement, Dataslate: Hellbrute.   I actually bought this one, and with formation names such as ‘Mayhem Pack’, ‘Helcult’, and ‘Helfist Murderpack’ how could any 12 year old do without 5 of these motherfuckers?  That is the whole point of these formations, isn't it?  To sell more models?  Kudos to Games Workshop for trying to put lipstick on a turd but at the end of the day we are talking about a slow 100-130 point AV 12 walker with 3 hull points.  Bringing more of them isn’t the answer and  no amount of fucking kick ass radical sounding formations will make the 6th edition issues with walkers any better.



So that's it folks.  A new Tyranid Dataslate is being released but hasn't hit yet, so no sarcastic feelings about that.....yet.  I was also able to get a couple of poop jokes in there as well, so that's cool.

Until next week.  Keep watching the skies!

This Week in 40k - March Week 2

Hey You’ll!  Welcome to another installment of This Week in 40k.  I’m your host Rawdogger, aka Phat J Sleeze, aka Clownbaby ROK, aka fuck internet handles.  It’s been a busy week, and in a way I feel that Games Workshop has really taken it upon themselves to give me A LOT of material to snark upon.  Let’s get started, shall we?

(As usual, most information shamelessly and un-apologetically stolen from various sites, mostly Faeit blog.  Go check it out if you haven’t gotten your daily war gaming masturbation sesh in.  I’m already good.) 

Codex: Weird Looking Miniatures is a go!

This week we saw the leaked images of the upcoming Imperial Guard release, the Astra Militarum and mysterious supplemental codex Militarum Tempestus.  We got a glimpse of not only the stupid looking short bus tracked thing but also got to see some of it’s riders, the new plastic Ogryn.  Some of the worst models ever produced AND a $50 dollar codex?  Sign me up!  Why is Games Workshop changing the fundamental canon of the 40k universe by renaming factions and adding retarded looking models?  FUCK YOU,  that’s why!   GDUB DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YO FAAAACE!

Dataslate for Hellbrutes confirmed.  Next up, Dataslate: Chaos Cultist

I can only hope that Games Workshop takes these micro transactions further.  Just fucking go all out with it already, GW.  Stop this pussy footing around.  Let’s have a $50 Codex, followed by a $20 Dataslate for each unit (digital only, of course) and all of this following the release of the models so we can purchase them before knowing if you actually play tested the rules (you didn't).  Oh yeah, Hellbrutes still suck even if you can take a formation of them.  Games Workshop, bringing you what’s next!

New Games Workshop Web Store to Include Forgeworld.  One click Horus Heresy army?  

FUCK.YES.

I don’t know about you but my life is about to get a lot easier.  Just like any old chap, I would find myself spending hours upon hours of time selecting individual units from the Forgeworld web store in order to fill my shopping cart just to purchase the models needed to create my Horus Heresy army.  If the rumors are true I won’t have to waste my valuable time doing this anymore, as Games Workshop is set to start selling Forgeworld models on their new web store.   We know how they saved countless hours of pointless clicking with their One Click Army Deals (trademarked) and we can fully expect the same with the Forgeworld models.  It’s especially helpful for people who like to masturbate while looking at Forgeworld models.

New Apocalypse Warzone Book Released.  What the hell is Warzone Apocalypse?

Stolen from Fresh Coast Gaming

This week Games Workshop unveiled another series of books for a supplemental offshoot of the game that no one plays.  Seriously, how many of you have gotten all excited to play a 40k Apocalypse game and then 2 hours into the first round of shooting you seriously regretted your life choices.  Sucks to be you if your entire army got D slapped off the board during the first turn and your buddy drove you to the store.  Fuck you Games Workshop.  Instead of having your design team work on a playable Chaos Space Marine Codex we get another set of books that no one wants for a game that no one plays.  Except Carl Tuttle.



Once again, while there was a lot more going on with 40k this week, these are just some of the things that interested me.  Also, in case you didn't notice, there were two masturbation jokes in this weeks article.  

YOU’RE WELCOME.

This week in 40k - March Week 1

Here is the next installment of This Week in 40k.  As usual, all information shamelessly stolen from other sources, mainly Faeit 212.  Go look at this site, it's pretty.

New Hellbrute kit and Crimson Slaughter codex supplement come out, sales in Helldrakes soar.

So remember that time that Games Workshop created an entire codex supplement to sell one model?  You don’t?  Shut the fuck up, I’m talking!  Next weekend we see the release of the Chaos Space Marine supplemental codex, ‘Crimson Slaughter’.  Despite having a totally badical name it has already been confirmed that the supplement will have around 2 pages of actual rules.  However, I choose to look on the bright side.  Chaos Space Marine players will finally get access to one of the best units in 6^th edition, Dreadnoughts!

Size does matter.  Knight and Dreamforge Leviathan size comparisons.

stolen from Pinsofwar

Don’t listen to what your girlfriend says, smaller is not better.  Having seen the size comparison between the Dream Forge Leviathan and the Imperial Knight, I can definitely say that the while the Leviathan is the Jon Hamm of the 40k universe, the Imperial Knight is more of the Reece Robbins.  In all fairness the Leviathan was created to rival the Warhound, but Dreamforge certainly owes Games Workshop a kiss below the belt.

Another one bites the dust!  Memphis Battle Bunker converts to one man store.

Games Workshop continues its march towards the cliff by converting another Battle Bunker into a time tested one man shop.  According the last man standing at GW Mephis, James, this ain’t such a bad thang!  (Via their Facebook page)
Ok folks. I have some news about The World of Battle. Things are changing here at the shop and on March 26th the store is going to make the transition into a one man store. This means that the gaming hall will also be closed off. This is not a bad thing, or the end of the World of Battle. The store will still be here for you to get your favorite Games Workshop miniatures, it will have tables covered with fantastic terrain for you to play on and it will still offer fantastic customer service. Until we make the transition all the events that we have on the schedule will still happen! I know this may be taken as bad news, but it is not! The store is, and will continue to be here, and the same fun, helpful atmosphere will remain! – James

Indeed, James.  Indeed.

Tyranids get new Digital Dataslate.  Tyranid players finally shut the fuck up.

Last week Tyranids got a digital only dataslate that made them better than they were previously.  There, you assholes happy?  I MENTIONED it.


See ya'll next week for another round of things that interested my in 40k!!!11!!

40k Week in Review

Hey ya'll (I'm talking like that now, get over it)

 Here is the first 40k Week in Review posts that I hope to get out every Friday from here on out.  I need something consistent to get me writing again, so I figured this would be an easy way to at least get one post in a week.  These posts will basically be a recap of everything that I find interesting that has happened in the 40k hobby throughout the week.  So, without further adieu (I actually spelled that right the first time) here are the things that I found interesting this week!

Games Workshop slaps the face of the 40k community with a giant D, community says 'that's just fine'

This week we saw the release of the Imperial Knights for 40k.  With the 40k community reluctant to allow Lords of War dirty D's into regular games a la Escalation, Games Workshop says 'fuck the lemons' and makes the super heavy walkers a regular Codex.  I'm personally ok with the Knights being used in regular games of 40k since I don't think they are that hard to take out or their ranged weapons are too scary, but allowing their use makes it OK to use silly things like Revenant Titans in the game and I'm certainly NOT ok with that.

If a Rankings HQ shuts down it's doors in the forest does it make a sound?

As most of you didn't hear, Rankings HQ has shut down it's doors for good.  If you don't remember what was good about Rankings HQ, don't worry neither do I.  Here is the official statement from the owner,

RANKINGS HQ IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

Rankings HQ is shutting down!

It is with some regret that I am announcing the Rankings HQ miniature gaming rankings web site is shutting down.

As you know I made a public announcement recently that unless adequate funds could be raised I would be winding it up and despite some willing supporters out there at the end of the day not enough users were willing to part with $10 to keep the site going.

Thanks to those that supported!

Thanks!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank those of you that decided to support RHQ with a donation.  I appreciate it.

As promised in my previous email all money will be refunded since I am shutting the site down.

I wish everyone the best in their gaming pursuits as I look forward to taking a break from running rankings,
tournaments and masters events after 15 years!  It has been a rewarding experience as well as a hard slog.

Regards,

Andrew Galea

My friend Tasty Taste has a much more detailed write up on his blog, Blood of Kittens, which you can read here.

Legion of the Damned get a Digital Codex for some reason!

Everyone's favorite 25 point Space Marines are getting their own codex, ya'll!  Now you can field an entire army of 3+ invulnerable save, cover ignoring bolter firing, DEEP STRIKING MOTHER FUCKERS!  Still no cure for being toughness 4 with one wound.  More info, here.

Torrent of Fire Invitational Tournament forgets to invite most important 40k Player, ME.

The Torrent of Fire Invitational Tournament is this weekend, and if you haven't heard about it than you really aren't that important (apparently).  Torrent of Fire, the NEW Rankings HQ, has created a tournament in which the best and most handsome 40k players are invited to a winner takes all 5 round single elimination tournament.  There are brackets that can be voted on and it really has the feel of a college sports type tournament thing.  There is even a cash prize, which is less than the cost to fly to DC but who cares?  If you would like more information on why you have the smallest penis in the 40k tournament scene, check out more info here.


Until next time.

Excelsior!

Raw Dogger, aka Clown Baby, aka Phat J Sleeze

Happy Valentines Day, Nerds!

Self Portrait of Raw Dogger

Oh, you think I died did you?  No, sadly that is not the case.  Between my real job, getting ready for my wedding in June, a stupid cat, and explosive diarrhea I have also started a second job as manager for Frontline Gaming's paint studio.  Haven't heard of it?  Check it out, here, if you have a couple minutes to spare or you are at work.

Anyways, I'll have a full write up about the Las Vegas Open tournament that I attended last weekend coming soon.  I'll give you a sneak preview.  I didn't win.

So go enjoy your Valentines Day, or for many of you, a lonely day full of tears, masturbation, and shame.


Raw Dogg Er

Merry Kimchi Christmas!

Hope everyone had a GREAT holiday!  Back to work tomorrow but I have some tasty blog posts planned for this weekend.

Blood Angels 6th Edition: Brother Corbulo, Super Hunk

Long time no talk, drunken readers!  Apologies but life has once again reared it's ugly head and I've been unable to fit in gaming hobby time as of late.  I wanted to quickly talk about one of my go-to models when putting together a Blood Angel's army in 40k 6th edition, the ultra-hunky Brother Corbulo.

Broken camera? Check.  Backpack in the shop?  Double Check.

Corbulo is is the High Sanguinary Priest of the Blood Angels.  He's basically an Apothecary that gives off a 6" Furious Charge bubble and comes in at the price of a Librarian with a Melta Bomb.  He basically has the stats of a Space Marine with one less Wound and Weapon Skill.  Corbulo also comes with a couple of war gear items and a special rule that rocks a lots of cocks [citation needed].

Heaven's Teeth:  A chainsword that gives Corbulo +1 Strength (5) and has the rending special rule.  Seeing as how he come with 4 attacks base and he is usually hitting on 3's you have the potential to do some damage to high armor foes or medium armored vehicles.

The Red Grail:  As stated above, Corbulo is an Apothecary that grants any unit within 6" of himself Furious Charge and Feel No Pain.  As an added benefit his pimp chalice grants Corbulo a 2+ Feel No Pain.  Awesome pizza sauce.

The Far-Seeing Eye:  Once per game Corbulo can use his super powers to divine the strands of fate.  What the fuck does that mean?  He lets you re-roll one dice per game.  This can be any roll of the dice, including the role to seize the initiative.  This has gotten me out of a jam more times than I care to admit.

So, now that you know about this hunk how the hell do you use him?  I've been having a lot of success plopping him down in a Drop Pod with a unit of Sternguard with combi-plasmas.  He sits in front of the unit and tanks wounds with his 2+ Feel No Pain while the Sternguard do what they do.  Corbulo isn't too bad in combat and gives the unit a 5+ Feel No Pain and Furious Charge bonus, which is great for the Get's Hot nature of combi-plasmas.  Another great way to use him is in a Storm Raven with a unit of Thunder Hammer/Storm Shield Terminators.  They will hit like a ton of bricks and if the 5+ Feel No Pain really helps if the damn funky chicken explodes before they get to their destination.

All-in-all Brother Corbulo really helps the struggling Blood Angels in the 6th edition.  So, what are your coolest moments using the hunky Hercules?

Video Battle Report with Reecius

Hey guys, check out this recent video battle report that Reecius over at Frontline Gaming filmed for his website, frontlinegaming.org.

While you're at it check out their Kickstarter, the Mega Mat!   Try and be supportive, nerds.