Saturday, March 15, 2014

This Week in 40k - March Week 2

Hey You’ll!  Welcome to another installment of This Week in 40k.  I’m your host Rawdogger, aka Phat J Sleeze, aka Clownbaby ROK, aka fuck internet handles.  It’s been a busy week, and in a way I feel that Games Workshop has really taken it upon themselves to give me A LOT of material to snark upon.  Let’s get started, shall we?

(As usual, most information shamelessly and un-apologetically stolen from various sites, mostly Faeit blog.  Go check it out if you haven’t gotten your daily war gaming masturbation sesh in.  I’m already good.) 

Codex: Weird Looking Miniatures is a go!

This week we saw the leaked images of the upcoming Imperial Guard release, the Astra Militarum and mysterious supplemental codex Militarum Tempestus.  We got a glimpse of not only the stupid looking short bus tracked thing but also got to see some of it’s riders, the new plastic Ogryn.  Some of the worst models ever produced AND a $50 dollar codex?  Sign me up!  Why is Games Workshop changing the fundamental canon of the 40k universe by renaming factions and adding retarded looking models?  FUCK YOU,  that’s why!   GDUB DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YO FAAAACE!

Dataslate for Hellbrutes confirmed.  Next up, Dataslate: Chaos Cultist

I can only hope that Games Workshop takes these micro transactions further.  Just fucking go all out with it already, GW.  Stop this pussy footing around.  Let’s have a $50 Codex, followed by a $20 Dataslate for each unit (digital only, of course) and all of this following the release of the models so we can purchase them before knowing if you actually play tested the rules (you didn't).  Oh yeah, Hellbrutes still suck even if you can take a formation of them.  Games Workshop, bringing you what’s next!

New Games Workshop Web Store to Include Forgeworld.  One click Horus Heresy army?  


I don’t know about you but my life is about to get a lot easier.  Just like any old chap, I would find myself spending hours upon hours of time selecting individual units from the Forgeworld web store in order to fill my shopping cart just to purchase the models needed to create my Horus Heresy army.  If the rumors are true I won’t have to waste my valuable time doing this anymore, as Games Workshop is set to start selling Forgeworld models on their new web store.   We know how they saved countless hours of pointless clicking with their One Click Army Deals (trademarked) and we can fully expect the same with the Forgeworld models.  It’s especially helpful for people who like to masturbate while looking at Forgeworld models.

New Apocalypse Warzone Book Released.  What the hell is Warzone Apocalypse?

Stolen from Fresh Coast Gaming

This week Games Workshop unveiled another series of books for a supplemental offshoot of the game that no one plays.  Seriously, how many of you have gotten all excited to play a 40k Apocalypse game and then 2 hours into the first round of shooting you seriously regretted your life choices.  Sucks to be you if your entire army got D slapped off the board during the first turn and your buddy drove you to the store.  Fuck you Games Workshop.  Instead of having your design team work on a playable Chaos Space Marine Codex we get another set of books that no one wants for a game that no one plays.  Except Carl Tuttle.

Once again, while there was a lot more going on with 40k this week, these are just some of the things that interested me.  Also, in case you didn't notice, there were two masturbation jokes in this weeks article.  


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