Monday, April 28, 2014

Warhammer 40k 7th Edition Inbound and Down!

In the past few days we've received mostly reliable information pointing towards a late May release date for a new Warhammer 40k edition.  I'll be the first to admit that a change was desperately needed.  GW really shot themselves in the foot with the 6th edition.  The ally system, while genius from an accounting point of view, has been terrible for actual game play.  The creators of the 6th edition either didn't play test the possible combinations that inevitably sprung up or didn't give a shit and only saw a way to sell models from different factions to players loyal to individual armies.  Its amazing how quickly tournament gamers were able to find and exploit the broken army combinations when GW could have just released a beta version of the rule set and saved themselves the expense of making a new edition a year and a half after releasing the 6th edition.  Who knew accountants and marketing teams could fuck up a complicated table top rule set so completely?  Further mucking up the 6th edition of Warhammer 40k is Games Workshop's insistence on retconning the shit out of their existing universe.  If a new player were to walk in to their Fat Local Game Store and pick up the 6th edition rule book and then looked on the shelved products they would wonder if they had fallen down the rabbit hole with Alice. What is an Astra Militarum?  WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MARBO GODDAMMIT!11!!

So now that we know a new and hopefully playable 40K edition will be here shortly, what kinds of things can GW do to bring some order back to game and stop forging a narrative all over our faces and chests?

  • Do away with battle brothers.  This will most likely get a lot of flack from people who play Tau or Eldar, or rely on Inquisitors with silly tricks to bypass core rules.  The ally system was created by GW to sell more models.  They didn't play test it or move on from the preliminary idea that they would sell more models.  Get over it and you will live a much happier life.
  • Let units assault out of transports.  If GW wants to sell models stop making (non-Necron) transports so useless.  Why can't models assault out of a transport if the vehicle didn't move that turn?  TELL ME WHY YOU COCKS.
  • Change the cover rules for Monstrous Creatures.  We've all been there.  You score 3 or more wounds on a Wraithknight with Lascannons.  You triumphantly take a lap around the table, praising your chosen god for blessing you with such a bountiful gift.  Then Reece Robbins says 'not so fast!'  He has a toe in a crater, so he gets an obscured save.  He then rolls two 5's and a 6.  You quit playing 40k forever.
  • Remove random charge distance.  I don't care what you say, it's not forging a narrative when your dedicated assault unit or Daemon Prince fails a 4" charge. That's stupid and it sucks ass when it happens.  Perhaps letting units either choose to make a regular charge or roll 2D6 on the chance they will be able to charge at a longer range?  HUH?
  • Bring back owning player wound allocation.  Yes, this was abused in the 5th edition by Nobs and Nob Gobblers alike.  The nearest model takes the first wound has lead to much more abuse such as characters tanking wounds and makes a difficult assault edition even worse.  It also dramatically slows down the game with players taking more time making sure certain models are behind others and rolling dice one at a time while tanking wounds.
  • Not let their marketing department write the rulebook.  Look, we all know that GW is a model company that just happens to have rules for the models they produce.  It's how they themselves feel about their company, and it's been well documented.  Its a fact since they became a publicly traded company GW has one person to answer to.  It's not the fans and it's not the customers- it's the shareholders.  What Warhammer 40k needs right not is not a new way to have the players buy slow moving product (i.e. Super Heavies in standard games) or to have them need to purchase large amounts of new product they already own (i.e Super Heavies in standard games).

What Games Workshop needs to really do is sit down and think about the longevity of their company. Every time a new edition is unveiled there is the normal doom and gloom with people leaving the hobby for greener pastures.  This is the first time that I have actually been scared that the majority of my friends would all leave.  The Warmachine nights are far more populated than 40k nights at my Fat Local Game Store, and there are now reports that Warmahorde players are outnumbering 40k players at major tournaments on the west coast.  I really think all need to put our collective hopes together and mentally FORCE Games Workshop from fucking their shit up for a 7th time in a row.


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