A cold sweat drips down the side of my neck. My pulse quickens. I begin to feel my heart pound my chest
with the vigor of a jack hammer. This is impossible, surely a mistake. A squad of my best men lies dead at my feet, cut down before they even had a chance to strike. I quickly send in the reinforcements, eyes envious at the sure revenge filled carnage in which they were to deliver. In the blink of an eye they were to meet the same fate as their fallen brothers. I explode…..”What do you mean his psychic attack occurs at the beginning of my shooting phase!” “How much did he cost?!” “90 points!” @#$*#@5&# Robin Cruddace $@$#@!...
I am of course speaking of my first game against the newest heart attack inducer from Games Workshop, the Doom of Malan’tai. In the short span of a 2 hour game I became everything I hated, the whiney wargamer. The person who watches the various forums such as BOLS and Warseer for any opportunity to jump on some hapless noob foolish enough to post a positive reaction towards an OP model or who posts a list that some might see as cheesy. I sometimes feel that whining is what sets us wargamers apart from the other hobbies that people choose to spend their time pursuing. Its become something of an art. Here are some of the more common rants and or hissy fits that I find on my daily blog perusal before going to teach little Korean babies how to speak English.
1) What?! They are coming out with a new Marine Codex? WTF?? What about my beloved Necrons/Dark Elder/WH/DH (by the way I play WH) you know, the armies that GW lost money on selling?? They are so CORPORATE!! WAAGHH!!
2) Those bastards made such a broken unit! I can’t kill it no matter what I do!! I hate GW, and I will never, EVER, buy another one of their products! Privateer Press here I come!
3) It’s such a cop out to play new armies, they practically play themselves! Only a noob would stoop to such a level. Psshh
I think it has actually gotten to the point where this hobby would inwardly implode if the outlets for their pent up nerd rage were to suddenly vanish. It is now a bona-fide part of the hobby and goes hand in hand with the more aesthetically pleasing table top experience. Unfortunately what a lot of people don’t realize is that they are almost always directly responsible for their woes and tribulations. People complain that their own 11 year codex is outdated, you know what..it is! Play another army or be content with being on the bottom of the lists year in and year out. People are angry about a new unit that is unstoppable..guess what..it’s not! Get off the damn BOLS forum and start trying to write a list that doesn’t suck.. I’m sorry your thunder cannons aren’t working out for you. Angry about the noobs playing new armies because they are easy..well you’re right! There is a reason new codices are always on the top of the lists.
Look, I am not immune to the trap that is complaining. I complain every day that it takes so long to paint my Vampire Counts army. Guess what, I use 7 colors on the skeletons and at least three different flocks for the bases. Who is making me do all that? If you say the Doom of Malan’tai, I’ll scream. What I am trying to say is, take the time to breathe. Look back at what got you into the hobby in the first place; read sites such as Yes the Truth Hurts for information on how to make a list that doesn’t blow. There is no reason for the mass of complaining I see on a daily basis. Man up, punch in, and have fun.